How to emergency swim a puppy across a river!

Ok, before you read this you all have to agree never to tell my friend Maya who owns this dog.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A river with stuff that's better on the other side than the side you're on, a sweet little unsuspecting dog, an old styrofoam cooler with no lid, two sticks, some bungy cord and a girlfriend to do the

1. coco the norwich terrier: Set the cooler on flat ground, then get the bungees and strap the dog to a tree so that when she figures out your plan she doesn't run away.
2. nothing to do with this how to- me showing off- shameless self-promotion Find two sticks an inch or two thick and play Luke against Darth Vader with your girlfriend (she's Darth vader , you're Luke, of course) have lots of fun and games until she "accidentally" knees you in the balls and breaks both sticks on your butt.
3. Hehehehe, Now ve show you vhat ve do to TERRIERists! Get two more identical sticks, use string and bungees to strap them like outriggers lengthwise to the cooler. They will immediately fly off. Strap them on again this time remembering that "to every force, there is and equal an opposite force", then watch as they fly off and come apart again. Let your girlfriend do it. When she almost has it, finish it and thank her for helping. After she throws you in the river, crawl back onto shore and continue to next step.
4. test Once the outriggers are secure step back and admire you handy work. Skip the step where you do the non-animal test, put the dog in and try it out. After it immediately tips over, scoop up the cooler and the cute little drown rat then continue to next step.
5. You need weight in the bottom so it doesn't tip. throw some rocks in!
6. Hi, I am peeing in my shorts! Can you had me that sandwich? After you pick up the pieces of the cooler that was broken by throwing rocks in, get another cooler and repeat steps 1-5; but this time place rocks in gently and evenly.
7. Put the dog in and take a photo, the prosecutors will need this as evidence against you.
8. terrier cruise-line embarks - ship name? the Ti-Panic Note the look on the dog's face, its not the usual "I like my bacon crispier" look, this look is "just wait til you fall asleep tonight"
   Now swim her across- remembering to swim 45 degrees up stream to prevent yourself from going down the rapids. While you're are swimming begin composing the story for your friends- all except Maya- about swimming the pup through class 4 rapids and a waterfall.
9. ok, almost there-you do the rest! There is no step 9.
10. Hey, this isn't going to be enough food! Snap out of your daydreaming, get to shore, pick up the dog and pose for the photo, the one that says "i don't think she got the shot of us crossing, we have to do it over."

Tips & Warnings

• Its all fun and games til someone spills their pancakes on the sand!
• Never turn your back on a "terrierist"!