Don't fall for the sweetness and light of the future Mrs. (whatever your last name is). She's lying and only trying to further her relationship with your son.
Step2
Ignore her kindness. Don't let yourself be used.
Step3
Try not to have a son in the first place.
Tips & Warnings
Leave your heart at the door when this creature walks into your life. Don't let her fool you; she's not there to care for you as a family. She will kill your spirit and destroy your dream of a family. That included her....but of course, the brat will think you're manipulating her FAAAAAAAAAAAAAMILY.
Don't go around seeking advice on how to better understand her and make her nicer. She doesn't want to be nice. Her plan is all laid out; you, MIL, are going to get out of your son's life forever. She will do whatever it takes to make that happen.
on 9/2/2008
Dear Sing,
I guess the best thing is to try to look on the positive side, she did send the email and a picture. I think that's a great sign.
Your son can't talk to you anymore like he once did. Remember when I told you about our son calling on the phone, "WIFE????" (like, I can't remember the lines I was supposed to say)
I would consider what she did as a great step. Don't call your son anymore to ask anything about what she has said or done.
He has to tell her everything and will tell her you called.
I'd step way back. Unless you have a relationship with the DIL, there is no hope for a relationship with your son.
Try to look at any move on her part as positive. At least she's not calling you names in front of your son so she can feel in control.
What a wretched thing it is to have a son turn into a robot.
on 9/1/2008
Well I got a response for the anniversary card that I sent to them. It was an e-mail from her thanking my husband and I for the generous gift and a picture of my granddaughter with my son. She just signed her name without my son's name. You would think an anniversary card would be followed by a thank you from both? I called my son just to make sure he knew about the gift and card because he did not call or send an e-mail. He said he was busy. At this point I can't blame everything on her as I think he is just as much to blame for lack of consideration for his parents. I also think that after 7 months of not speaking to her due to a problem I had with my son she would have at least called. This generation has no manners. My psychologist thinks it was a nice e-mail she sent to me and I should respond. I don't want to respond. What do you think?
on 9/1/2008
Blame is a sorry excuse for the lack of an attempt of a working relationship. Have you attempted to let her into your life and not have to "control" your son? Has it occured to you that the wife is possibly a saving ground for an "abusive" parent. One that was a control freak and not willing to allow anyone except the son or other children into your life? Give the daughter in law a chance. Without insults. Grow up! feel strong about your life and not having to control your sons.
on 8/25/2008
Your comments were cut off so I didn't get to see what all you said.
To me, it seems so good that your son has gone to counseling with you. It shows he must care about your relationship.
No one knows but the Mother of a son who marries one of these people what it feels like to know in your heart that your son has gone away.
A child could live in another country and if your love for each other is still there, it doesn't matter.
Anyone who sends a child off to school for the first day and feels that tug at your heart as you let him/her go can understand a little bit the feeling of a Mother and Dad who watches their son just disappear before their very eyes.
If they get one of these underground beasts for wives they must treat you differently. They have to show her that she is #1....and she should be.
It just makes you wonder where we belong? Why do Mothers of sons ha
on 8/24/2008
Hi! I am sitting here feeling very sad and crying. I again I am so glad I have found all of you. My life has also been touched by one of these creatures from out of space. Today is their 5th anniversary and my psychologist told me to send a card which I did and I have a dear friend who is a psychologist and he also said send the card, forget about the bitch and you be a "Mensch". For those of you who do not understand that word "it means to be a nice person". However, I know I am thinking about her response to the card and gift and so far she has not even contacted me by phone, email or carrier pigeon and my son has changed so much towards me in the last 5 years. My son and I have been in conseling sessions with my psychologist on several occasions during the last 5 years but the bitch and I have had not communication since December 2007. What a curse! Sometimes I feel strong
Enthusiast 
Comments
LuLu12 said
on 9/2/2008 Dear Sing,
I guess the best thing is to try to look on the positive side, she did send the email and a picture. I think that's a great sign.
Your son can't talk to you anymore like he once did. Remember when I told you about our son calling on the phone, "WIFE????" (like, I can't remember the lines I was supposed to say)
I would consider what she did as a great step. Don't call your son anymore to ask anything about what she has said or done.
He has to tell her everything and will tell her you called.
I'd step way back. Unless you have a relationship with the DIL, there is no hope for a relationship with your son.
Try to look at any move on her part as positive. At least she's not calling you names in front of your son so she can feel in control.
What a wretched thing it is to have a son turn into a robot.
Keep writing and many blessings
Singdoreme2222 said
on 9/1/2008 Well I got a response for the anniversary card that I sent to them. It was an e-mail from her thanking my husband and I for the generous gift and a picture of my granddaughter with my son. She just signed her name without my son's name. You would think an anniversary card would be followed by a thank you from both? I called my son just to make sure he knew about the gift and card because he did not call or send an e-mail. He said he was busy. At this point I can't blame everything on her as I think he is just as much to blame for lack of consideration for his parents. I also think that after 7 months of not speaking to her due to a problem I had with my son she would have at least called. This generation has no manners. My psychologist thinks it was a nice e-mail she sent to me and I should respond. I don't want to respond. What do you think?
dmhauser said
on 9/1/2008 Blame is a sorry excuse for the lack of an attempt of a working relationship. Have you attempted to let her into your life and not have to "control" your son? Has it occured to you that the wife is possibly a saving ground for an "abusive" parent. One that was a control freak and not willing to allow anyone except the son or other children into your life? Give the daughter in law a chance. Without insults. Grow up! feel strong about your life and not having to control your sons.
LuLu12 said
on 8/25/2008 Your comments were cut off so I didn't get to see what all you said.
To me, it seems so good that your son has gone to counseling with you. It shows he must care about your relationship.
No one knows but the Mother of a son who marries one of these people what it feels like to know in your heart that your son has gone away.
A child could live in another country and if your love for each other is still there, it doesn't matter.
Anyone who sends a child off to school for the first day and feels that tug at your heart as you let him/her go can understand a little bit the feeling of a Mother and Dad who watches their son just disappear before their very eyes.
If they get one of these underground beasts for wives they must treat you differently. They have to show her that she is #1....and she should be.
It just makes you wonder where we belong? Why do Mothers of sons ha
Singdoreme2222 said
on 8/24/2008 Hi! I am sitting here feeling very sad and crying. I again I am so glad I have found all of you. My life has also been touched by one of these creatures from out of space. Today is their 5th anniversary and my psychologist told me to send a card which I did and I have a dear friend who is a psychologist and he also said send the card, forget about the bitch and you be a "Mensch". For those of you who do not understand that word "it means to be a nice person". However, I know I am thinking about her response to the card and gift and so far she has not even contacted me by phone, email or carrier pigeon and my son has changed so much towards me in the last 5 years. My son and I have been in conseling sessions with my psychologist on several occasions during the last 5 years but the bitch and I have had not communication since December 2007. What a curse! Sometimes I feel strong