How to Punish an Angry Child
Punishing children can be difficult because of the need to protect and care for them. Often punishments are not given consistently for improper behavior, so the child can become confused by the promise of punishment. Punishing an angry child can be tricky, depending on the child's level and frequency of anger. Follow some commonsense steps to punish an angry child while still communicating a sense of caring and concern.
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Instructions
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Determine whether your child has an anger problem or whether he is simply angry in particular situations. Talk to the child's teacher or begin to notice what kinds of situations will likely anger the child.
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Take control of the situation by being in control of yourself. Resist reacting as the child becomes increasingly more angry as you will only elevate the charged energy and escalate the situation.
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Tell the child what she is doing incorrectly or what she is being punished for clearly. Ask the child after you have informed her of her indiscretion whether she understands, and look for signs of comprehension.
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Keep your voice at a moderate but stern volume. Maintain eye contact with the child and tell him exactly what will happen if he continues to engage in the inappropriate behavior.
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Determine a fair punishment. For a child over 12, telling him to go to his room is often a relief, so other methods should be employed. For children under 12, often the removal of privileges is an effective method. The important thing is to be consistent.
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Use a bit of humor to help diffuse the child's anger. Make sure she understands that what you do is out of love and concern not punitive anger or general disapproval.
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Tips & Warnings
Remember if the behavior that is punished returns, then your punishment is not working properly and another method needs to be used.
Be reasonable and consistent in your punishments.
When the child is not being punished, give her positive reinforcement. Tell her when she is good just as much, if not more, than when she is being bad.
Do not attempt to punish the child when you are angry; it will probably be out of alignment with the nature of the offense.
Do not verbally or physically abuse an angry child as a punishment; this abuse will only amplify the anger in the child.
