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Step 1
Take note of the child's need to occupy time with the same or opposite sex. Notice whether there seems to be a pull for a male child to play primarily with girls or a female child to play primarily with boys.
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Step 2
Watch whether the child prefers to project a physical image of the other sex. Be sensitive to the inclination for male children to want to wear dresses or other feminine clothing and female children to look ambiguously male.
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Step 3
Pay attention to what kinds of toys the child is attracted to after she is 8- or 9-years-old. Stay in contact with school teachers or day care workers to get input on how she relates to schoolmates or any teasing or possibly hurtful labels being placed on the child.
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Step 4
Wait until the child has undergone puberty before even considering if he is transgender. Even then the child may feel shame or discomfort at revealing that to others. Talk to him about what their aspirations are and take note of any possible depression, anxiety or other mental complications. Give him the opportunity to express himself freely and safely.
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Step 5
Schedule an appointment for the child to speak with a psychologist (if necessary) once she is of age to understand or at least concretely articulate her sense of identity,usually between 13 and 18 years old. Be kind, respectful and understanding of the child and try to accommodate her gender needs without condemnation or shame.
