How to Forgive Abusive Parents

Parents are the people we look to nurture us and keep us safe. When a parent abuses a child physically, emotionally or sexually it can have a lifelong impact. Adult victims of abuse may have trouble trusting or suffer posttraumatic stress. For some individuals forgiving abusive parents may be a needed step to recovery.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Release feelings of helplessness. As a child who was abused you may have felt powerless. That feeling may carry over to adulthood. Take control of your life and keep in mind you are now an adult who can take care of yourself.
2. Look towards the future. You cannot change your past or childhood. You can make a decision to not live in the past and move foreword with your life. Concentrate on the positives in your life and the good relationships you currently have.
3. Talk about your feelings. Meet with a good friend or a sibling and discuss how you feel. Discuss the ways forgiving your abusive parents would help you. Talk about any fears and resentments you have. Consider professional counseling if needed.
4. Write your parents a letter. Sometimes it's easier to write your feelings down. Take your time and think about everything you want to get off your chest.
5. Realize forgiveness will help you. Holding on to anger can cause emotional and physical symptoms. Forgiving your parents and letting go of anger will benefit you.
6. Remember your parents are human. Parents make terrible mistakes. However they may have suffered abuse as a child or have had an addiction to drugs or alcohol. It does not excuse their behavior but may help you look at the situation differently.
7. Work through feelings of anger. It is natural to be angry. However anger can interfere with living a healthy life. Find ways to elevate hostility such as meditation or yoga. Exercise to release tension. Listen to music, get outside and spend time with friends.

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient. It may take time to feel you are ready to forgive abusive parents. Take the time you need to work through your issues.
• Don't revisit old arguments. Going over the same issues may not help the situation.