How to Be a Problem Child

Parents will always love you, no matter how much trouble you cause. Being a good boy or girl is nice for everyone involved, but sometimes there is simply more fun in being a problem child. Spice up your life, and theirs, by cutting your own path through childhood.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Cause problems in school. Continually bring home reports from your teachers about problems at lunch and during class. This can be accomplished easily with a few rude gestures or interrupting the teacher to talk about topics that are not related to the subject being taught.
2. Be hyperactive and pay attention to no one. Commonly refered to as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, it is the key to being a problem child. Symptoms include an inability to sit still, focus on school work or tasks and being disorganized.
3. Disobey. Any person in authority, and their rules, should be ignored, spurned and generally scoffed at. This should include, but not be limited to, teachers, principals, parents and anyone over the age of thirty.
4. Make family time unpleasant. Whenever your family sits down to dinner, constantly poke fun at your siblings, or bring up subjects that are not deemed appropriate for family time, like the time your sister was sick and threw up on herself.
5. Fail to communicate. The key to a good child-parent relationship is good communication, so you must never communicate well with anyone. Remain stoic and silent whenever possible, and when asked a direct question, answer with a question or a vague response.

Tips & Warnings

• Of course, this article isn't supposed to be taken seriously.