How to Help a Child Cope With a Missing Pet

Losing a pet can trigger an emergency for children in the family. Whether the pet is a beloved dog or a humble hermit crab, children can become preoccupied with the safety and recovery of a missing pet. Adults must help children cope while the family engages in a search.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Involve the child in the search for the missing pet. The child should engage in age-appropriate recovery activities. Young children can help hang flyers. Older children can get the word out through their online social networks.
2. Reduce the child's feelings of guilt. Children may feel responsible for not protecting the missing pet or preventing the loss. Even if the child left the cage open, keep the focus on recovery efforts, not on the loss.
3. Validate the child's emotions. Children might feel angry with the parents, depressed, worried or in denial about the missing pet. All are normal grieving emotions.
4. Be honest about the chances of finding a lost pet. Families rarely recover some pets, such as birds, rodents or reptiles. Offer hope grounded in reality.
5. Allow the child to decide how long to conduct the search for the pet. Adults know that pets missing for more than a few weeks could be gone forever. Let the child continue the search until he feels closure.
6. Inform others in the child's life about the missing pet. Teachers and friends can offer empathy and support.
7. Resist replacing the missing pet with a new pet. Children can feel that getting a new pet dishonors the missing pet and dampens their hopes of finding the lost pet.