How to Handle a Stoic Family Member

It's a real challenge to connect with some people. A "stoic" or stand-offish family member can be difficult to deal with, whether you're just trying to keep the flow of conversation at a family reunion or trying to work out some arrangements regarding family life. Here are some ways to work at effective outreach.

Instructions

1. Encourage a quiet family member to open up by engaging in small talk that is genuine.

2. Learn the value of silence. When you're relating to a stoic or reserved person, it helps to be able to embrace moments of silence and not feel the need to fill every moment with conversation.

3. Ask questions about what they are interested in. If someone you're talking to is largely unresponsive, it helps to target their interests. Some people only get excited about a few topics, and they may come out of their shell when conversation moves to something they care about.

4. Use monologues sparingly. If the person sitting next to you is not saying much, that's not a ticket to go off on your own tangent. Find a balance between being outgoing and open, and boring your family members to tears. Keep breaks in the conversation just in case your stone-faced relative decides that they have something to say.

5. Go through other family members. If you're really having problems reaching a relative, you may want to seek out an intermediary, especially if you have business you need to transact. Often, someone who lives with the stoic individual has become skilled at bringing them out a little bit, and helping them respond to questions or carry a conversation. Find these liaisons and enlist their help in getting your point across.