How to Join a Cargo Cult

John Frum Flag Raising Ceremony on Tana (They're Pretty Big on the Red Cross and the US in General, Due To an Encounter with Generous GIs and Medics During WWII)

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Cargo cults are the ultimate in materialism, even though members of these cults generally have very little in the way of the possessions they so covet. Typically, cargo cult members belong to tribal societies in remote areas. Due to some contact with the outside world (traders, military troops), they are well-aware of the riches that the developed world has to offer. The cult evolves around ceremonial rituals designed to invoke desired objects or--in some cases--people. (One cargo cult supposedly worshiped an effigy of Clark Gable, at least according to the oh-so-reliable "Weekly World News"). While the rituals may not net them actual big screen TV's or even iPod's, at least they get to have a whole lot of fun imagining how the other half lives. If you'd rather ditch the actual world of materialistic goods for the fantasy world of imagined ones (since everything is always much more fun when you're just wishing for it), perhaps you'd like to join a cargo cult, too. Read on to find out how.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

Desire for stuff
Lack of stuff so you can desire it
Pictures and cardboard mock-ups of the stuff you desire

Step1

Ditch everything you own. You can't be part of a religion devoted to coveting what you lack unless you lack it in the first place. Most members of cargo cults have very little in the way of personal possessions.

Step2

Get away from it all. Most cargo cults are located on remote islands in the South Pacific, places where it would be very difficult to obtain large amounts of consumer goods even if any were available. (Sure, you can buy it on eBay, but who's going to ship it to you?)

Step3

Hone those arts and crafts skills. One way to invoke the desired "stuff" is to make models of it out of the materials at hand--like bamboo and cardboard.

Step4

Get your party on. Many cargo cult ceremonies involve a lot of dancing, singing, drinking, and all-around fun stuff. (Who needs a big screen TV when you've got a South Sea island party going on? But don't spoil the fun!)

Tips & Warnings

If you want to join an existing cargo cult instead of starting your own, you're pretty much limited to the John Frum cult on the island of Tana in Vanuatu. If you go, be sure to get there in time for February 15th since that's their big day
Cargo cults are not necessarily equal rights organizations. Certain cargo cults do not allow women to participate in the most important ceremonies