Often children have not learned the art of remaining calm under less than perfect circumstances. Adults need to notice when the child is losing their composure and teach the child some skills to compose or calm themselves.
Pay attention to the child. Notice out loud when you see signals that he is losing control. Say, “I see your fists are doing this.” Then show the child what you are seeing with your own hands. Pointing out the child’s actions will help them learn to recognize when they are getting angry.
Step2
Teach your child some breathing techniques to calm down. Make sure you work with her on this while she is calm. A child who is angry will not be in the place to learn any new skills, especially not calming techniques. “Ballooning” and “Draining” are two breathing techniques that can be used with children. To “balloon” a child clasps hands above their head to form a balloon shape. Starting with the hands touching their heads, as the child inhales the balloon fills up, then once “full” let the air out of the balloon by exhaling deeply. To “Drain” hold arms out stiffly straight ahead of you while inhaling. Exhale and release all the tension held in the arms and relax. Both these techniques increase the amount of oxygen reaching the brain, which helps calm the person using them.
Step3
Provide a designated quiet place to calm down. This location can be a corner in a room or just a comfortable chair. This space is not set up as a “time out” or as punishment. It simply gives the child a way to escape a situation that may escalate so she can calm down.
Step4
Be a good role model. If you want a child to remain composed under tense situations, you must model composure yourself. If a parent honest with himself, he will notice that your child handles stress and difficult situations much the same way as he does. Make needed changes to handle difficult situations in a positive manner to model the behavior.
Tips & Warnings
If your child repeatedly tantrums and is not able to gain composure, check with your doctor to see if this behavior is typical. Rarely, a child may have a medical condition that makes it difficult to maintain self-control.