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Step 1
Pay attention to the child. Notice out loud when you see signals that he is losing control. Say, “I see your fists are doing this.” Then show the child what you are seeing with your own hands. Pointing out the child’s actions will help them learn to recognize when they are getting angry.
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Step 2
Teach your child some breathing techniques to calm down. Make sure you work with her on this while she is calm. A child who is angry will not be in the place to learn any new skills, especially not calming techniques. “Ballooning” and “Draining” are two breathing techniques that can be used with children. To “balloon” a child clasps hands above their head to form a balloon shape. Starting with the hands touching their heads, as the child inhales the balloon fills up, then once “full” let the air out of the balloon by exhaling deeply. To “Drain” hold arms out stiffly straight ahead of you while inhaling. Exhale and release all the tension held in the arms and relax. Both these techniques increase the amount of oxygen reaching the brain, which helps calm the person using them.
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Step 3
Provide a designated quiet place to calm down. This location can be a corner in a room or just a comfortable chair. This space is not set up as a “time out” or as punishment. It simply gives the child a way to escape a situation that may escalate so she can calm down.
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Step 4
Be a good role model. If you want a child to remain composed under tense situations, you must model composure yourself. If a parent honest with himself, he will notice that your child handles stress and difficult situations much the same way as he does. Make needed changes to handle difficult situations in a positive manner to model the behavior.
