How to Entertain Yourself During a Speech by George W. Bush

The 2008 election promises a reprieve from the incredibly bad oratory of George W. Bush. But there's still lots of time between now and then. How in the world will you make it through hours of his painful mispronunciation and borderline baby talk? With a few beers, some good friends and this guide.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• A few friends who enjoy politics
• Some beer (Amount depends on your taste and tolerance)
• A decent sized TV

1. Pick a Speech by George W. Bush
   
   There aren't too many, apparently his advisers have warned him he sounds like he might not have gotten his money's worth for his Yale education. Still, CSPAN or CNN will likely have a speech by him announced before hand you can call all your friends up for.
2. America's Oldest Brewery Has the Brew for America's Most Linguisitically Challenged President. Grab some beer.
   
   Everything is better with beer, with speeches by our president, its the only thing that will make it tolerable. Grab some reasonably priced beer.
3. Call some friends.
   
   This works even better if you already have the beer. Get a few people who enjoy a good laugh, or at least can see the absurd side of politics.
4. Bonus points are earned if he says the words in his background more than 5 times in 5 minutes. Find your key words.
   
   Pick about 6 - 10 words and make these your "Key Words" take a sip of your beer every time the word is spoken by the president. A few favorites:
   
   "Iraq"
   "Resolute"
   "Challenges"
   "Strong"
   "Tax-cuts"
   "Bi-partisan" (double this if he snickers while he says it)
   The Bush laugh "Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh."
   "Hard work"
   Various sounds used for pausing, "Er, uh, um"
   
   You'll notice quickly that most of these words show up A LOT.
5. Pace yourself!
   
   As any astute observer of the president's speech patterns will tell you, any drinking game that uses key words will likely end badly if you follow it too closely. Woe be to the fool who picks "Democracy" "Freedom" and "Iraq" when he signs the military spending budget. Sometimes let a word pass, they'll be more, don't worry.

Tips & Warnings

• Try to see what the speech is about before hand, then custom tailor your game to fit!
• Some words are always winners "Freedom" is excellent and any discussion about the budget should include the phrase "Partisan Politics" (if he's vetoing it) or "Bi-partisan consensus" (If he's approving it.
• This guide is not intended to endorse the use of alcoholic beverages by minors, hopefully the rose colored lenses of youth will be enough to make a Bush speech tolerable