How to surprise your movie date with a "Popcorn Willie"

Looking for the perfect ice-breaker on a second or third date? Maybe just looking to breathe some life back into a boring relationship? Willing to throw caution to the wind? Let's have some fun!

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• a date
• two movie tickets
• a willy-size-appropriate container of movie popcorn
• an exacto knife
• patience

1. Enter movie theater and proceed directly to concessions area. Purchase popcorn in a size indicative of your level of patience, i.e. larger size if anticipation is your thing. PLEASE forgo the hot butter. Also purchase the largest size of her favorite drink.
2. Sit down in theater and make sure your date is getting her fill of salty popcorn and thusly her mega-size drink.
3. Once your date gets up to use the restroom, use exacto knife to quickly carve a willie-sized hole in the bottom of popcorn tub, and promptly insert your manhood up through bottom of tub. Also remember to have at least one hand on the strategically-positioned tub at all times as to not arouse suspicion.
4. Wait patiently while your date finds the surprise! This will yield one of two results - either a date that just became exponentially more fun, or a swift kick in the nuts. Are you a gambling man?

Tips & Warnings

• I am not responsible for results other than those desired by the user of this technique.
• beware of paper cuts
• this article is for entertainment purposes only