How to Deal with a Defensive Young Supervisor

Don't know how to deal with a young boss who is causing you stress? It is best to maintain your business and professional attitude, but how? You really just want to put your supervisor in their place or get them to lower their defenses. While you may not be able to change your supervisor or coworker, you can change your approach towards these people and maintain your business sense. Let these tips guide you towards a relationship you can live with.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Start fresh with a new attitude. Even if it is not the beginning of the work week, it is never too early to take a new approach. Try using some empathy by seeing where your young supervisor is coming from. He may be wanting to prove his worth or perhaps he is insecure. There may be other problems hidden beneath his defensive front such as family, financial stress or medical treatment.

2. If none of those are the case, or you just cannot figure it out, you may wish to schedule a meeting with your boss and his boss or some subordinate employees in your office. Make some notes just before your meeting in your planner or obtain a small notebook. Do not make these notes public. Never store them on the computer or share information via email or the Internet. During the meeting, bring up the data you have collected, such as unjust workloads, disrespectful attitudes, favoritism or any other issues. Do not forget to have evidence to support your claims. It is important to have one or two other employees there with you to support your case. Take notes during your meeting.

3. A few weeks after the meeting, if the situation has not improved, consider scheduling a meeting with a higher authority in your office.

4. If all these steps are not possible, or you desire another suggestion, document your work day. Start to include comments in a journal that the boss made that may have made you feel uncomfortable, angry or disrespected. This journal could be kept with a pocket-sized scheduler in your locked desk drawer. You may use this for future evidence, or if other employees have similar complaints. It also may be used to see if you are truly being subjected to your boss' defensive behavior, or it is due to your own unhappiness.

5. Communication is very important in the workplace and can be taken the wrong way. Always keep step one in mind and realize if people are "snapping" at you, they may have other things going on in their life that have nothing to do with you or work.
   
   You can still treat the individual with kindness and respect. When you interact with your boss, speak clearly and concisely with courtesy and respect, stick to work issues only.
   
   Keep your body language in check as well, including your expressions, posture and stance. Keep defensive postures such as arm crossing and a harsh tone of voice at bay. Take a few deep breaths before approaching your boss. If he or she comes to you, force yourself to smile and be helpful. This may build goodwill and help your work relationship in the future. Keep employing these techniques over time.

6. Make sure your boss knows that you understand how they feel or what they are struggling with (work-wise), and that you tell him this. Offer to take her to lunch, or do an extra task or two. Demonstrate that you are part of the team and will be cooperative.

7. If all else fails, consider a transfer out of the department or even choosing another career path if at all possible. You should not be subjected to working with a boss that will not treat you as you deserve.
   
   Your work life should be tolerable at minimum and even grow to be a rewarding experience.

Tips & Warnings

• Never approach your boss for a meeting during a stressful day. This will not help your situation.
• Look honestly at yourself to see if your attitude or actions have contributed to the young boss' attitude.
• Ask other trusted coworkers their constructive opinions of you and your boss. See if they suggest any ways to improve. Do not use this as a time to gossip.
• Give it a specific amount of time if you can, for the relationship to improve. If it does not, consider step 7.
• Do not badmouth your boss in the office or on the Internet. This will eventually get back to them and could put your position in jeopardy.

[MidniteWriter]

on 3/8/2009 Comments welcome!Please email me first if you'd like a link to one of your articles, and I will put your article in my resources section. Thank you!I'll help you deal with a defensive young supervisor and so much more!

[favefive]

on 3/6/2008 This is such a great topic and a very sensitive one. It can be a tough situation when you deal with a younger boss who is also very defensive.