How to Help Siblings Cope with a Brother or Sister with Asperger's
Almost more than spouses, brothers and sisters are thrown together for better or for worse. When a sibling has Asperger's Syndrome, it can complicate that relationship because one child lacks social skills and another just can't figure out "why my brother acts that way."
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Things You'll Need
- Information about Asperger's
- Ability to explain difficult topics on a child's level
- One-on-one time with each child
Instructions
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Fully educate yourself about your Asperger's child and then inform her siblings on an age-appropriate basis. Know that these children find it very difficult to pick up on social cues and often have intense, narrow interests. Even a young sibling can understand that, "Hannah gets upset when we stop talking about rabbits but we're working on ways to make that better."
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Understand that Asperger's is an "invisible" disability. Siblings may be embarrassed in front of their friends or at the mall when their brother (who looks no different than any other kid) can't stop clenching and unclenching his fists.
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Realize just as you may mourn the loss of a more mainstream child, her siblings may also be sad they don't have the kind of brother-sister relationship that other siblings enjoy. Let them talk about those feelings.
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Don't accept bad behavior from your Asperger's child and don't expect perfection from your other children. That can lead to resentment and acting out.
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Set aside quality time alone with each child. This may sound difficult, but one way to accomplish that is to take one child at a time on an errand or personal appointment when you can. You'll have valuable "car time" with the child in tow.
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Seek support groups. Parents in those organizations likely have other children, too, and they can be a valuable resource for the siblings of your Asperger's child.
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Tips & Warnings
All siblings fight.
Your Asperger's child will learn crucial social skills in interactions with siblings. Seize upon teaching moments.
Never compare your children. It will create feelings of unworthiness about themselves and anger toward the sibling.
