How to Get Over Snide Remarks

Whether it’s how you drive, what you eat or something your family said a year ago, snide remarks are easily born. Relationships give us openness to another person and sometimes, it gives us vulnerable openings. Jibs, jabs and sarcasm let us say what we’re feeling without being serious. However, their damage can be anything but funny.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Keep remarks in their place. Snide remarks will only grow as far as they are allowed to grow. If a snide remark was made Monday morning, keep it there at Monday morning. Don’t allow a negative comment to stay with you all day and night.
2. Listen for root of comment. Many times a snide comment will be directed at you but really be meant for someone or something else. Sometimes you’ll know where they’re coming from (a bad conversation with mom, a yelling from the boss) and sometimes you won’t have a clue. When a snide comment comes your way, realize that many times, it’s not about you at all. Removing yourself from the comment, takes away the personalizing and the offense.
3. Control the effect. A snide remark can boil your blood and send you up the wall if you let it. Snide remarks can be no more than brief flashes of ignorance on your partner’s part. Or, they can be jabs that slowly bleed out politeness and caring. You decide how far and how much you’ll be affected by a negative comment.
4. Have a sense of humor. Laugh the comment off whether it’s out loud (which can be a bad idea) or a laugh inside. If it’s a jab at your driving, deflect it with humor. Even if it’s humor at your expense it will shut the negativity down with a quickness.
5. Do not respond in kind. Snide remarks are like fire. If you fight fire with fire, you get more fire. Making a snip back at a snip will create a snip-war with negative comments flying back and forth. Ignore them, leave the room, be busy, whatever it takes to snuff them out. Like flames, a snide remark without fuel will simply go away.
6. Discuss snide remarks later. If a remark really hurt, bring it up for discussion at a later time and a better one. When you and your special someone are having a heart-to-heart, mention that he or she hurts your feelings with their snide comments. Keep it about how you’re made to feel without jumping on them. They’ll get your point.