How to Help a Teen with Asperger's Make and Keep Friends

Always an eccentric child, your teenager has now been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. The social world of teens is chaotic and unnerving at best, and an adolescent with Asperger’s is particularly handicapped. But with your help, he can find and keep friends.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Understanding of Asperger’s Syndrome and its effects
• Patience
• Encouraging attitude
• Social Skills groups
• Therapist

Educate Yourself

1. Know that Asperger’s is defined as a pervasive developmental disorder on the autism spectrum characterized by a discrepancy between intellectual and social abilities.
2. Understand that those who have Asperger’s have difficulty understanding social cues, although they are often academically advanced.
3. Align your own expectations with reality. Know that this child will probably not be popular, but can be happy and fulfilled with just one or two good friends.

Help Your Child

4. Encourage your child to notice when other kids are interested in her, because she may not pick up on attention. Impress upon her that it’s important to remember classmate’s names and use them in conversation.
5. Support your teenager in setting up social activities. They may be uncomfortable asking someone to just “hang out,” so a movie and ice cream may be more desirable.
6. Urge him to join school clubs. Many Asperger’s kids have very specific interests and can parlay their skills in this area into a social activity.
7. Limit solo activities such as video games, but know that too much social time can be overwhelming.
8. Know that your Asperger’s child may appear to be indifferent to her lack of friends. Many of these teens care deeply but have simply given up on having a social life.

Seek Out Professionals

9. Locate Social Skills groups in your area. They usually consist of three or more teens of the same age who meet once a week to interact socially under the guidance of a therapist. The goal is to take their new skills into the broader world.
10. Find a therapist who specialized in, or at least understands, teens with Asperger’s. Your teen will have issues around being “different” that he must discuss with someone, preferably a qualified professional. He may need further help in setting social goals.

Tips & Warnings

• Know that teens with Asperger’s often relate better to those younger or older than him.
• Suggest that your teen try to make friends with international students who may not perceive his lack of social skills or may have greater empathy for his awkwardness.
• Don’t try to force your child’s siblings to take him into their social circles. It will only cause resentment.