How to Apologize to your Girlfriend

So you've screwed up. And whether you think you're right or wrong, you're sick of sleeping on the couch. Here's my very, very wise insight on how to get back into those loving arms.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Sincerity
• Flowers
• The good sense to not do whatever it is that you did again!!!

1. The first step is to admit that you're wrong. Remember, you're always wrong in her eyes. You might as well admit this now, because as soon as you do, you will be better off.

2. Flowers or chocolate, you ask? Flowers you fool! Flowers are pretty and they make girls smile. And making a girl smile is an easy way to get whatever you want. Chocolate may seem like a good idea until she eats the entire box and blames you for making her feel like a fat pig.

3. You better know what you did wrong. You know we love to throw back the ol' "you don't understand me!" line. Accept responsibility, tell her what you did and why you shouldn't have done it, and try to say all this with as much sincerity as you can muster.

4. Move from the couch back into the bedroom. Send me flowers to thank me.

Tips & Warnings

• Diamonds, even if in your budget, only say: "Holy crap! I must have really screwed up!" and should be avoided when apologizing. Save precious jewelry for a "just because" gift when you haven't done anything wrong.
• Don't buy carnations. C'mon, guys. Roses, roses, and roses! Or maybe daisies. Better yet, if you don't know her favorite flowers, find out from her best friend.

Resources

• More from Joanna

[NOLAGntleman]

on 9/7/2008 ~
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Your Rose for such a great Article! It is funny how often we humans, male or female can reach Mt. Everest's Peak in life's accomplishments, however, let that boy/girlfriend or spouse say that one little thing & FIREWORKS!!! ;-)

NewOrlnsGentlman

[AudreyBrown]

on 3/10/2008 hahaha, I NEVER get tired of reading your stuff. You are hysterical. Nice use of the word "fool" way underused today if you ask me...