Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Step1
Mention for weeks before Valentine’s Day to everyone within earshot that you can’t stand the balloons, flowers, candy, stuffed animals and general red and pink products stacked all over every card and drug store in the area. Stress that you aren’t saying this in hopes that someone will get something of this nature for you anyway.
Step2
When the 14th rolls around, be on your guard. Look around. Take notice of everyone’s behavior around you. Do they seem to be in on a surprise you know nothing about? Are they ushering you away from your desk for an extended lunch so it can be lavishly decorated? Does anyone keep asking you if you’ve gotten anything interesting in the mail or how your day is going while winking at you? These clues will tip you off.
Step3
Should you come back from your extended lunch to what looks like half of Hallmark’s Valentine’s Day merchandise, read the card first. You know there will be a card and that it will be sappy and awkward, but you have to at least have the courtesy to read it. This will be easier if the bearer of these gifts is not in sight, watching your every expression and reaction.
Step4
If the gifts are from someone you are actually dating, be sure to thank them sincerely. If they didn't hear your wishes for a quiet, subdued Valentine's Day, now is not the time to reiterate it. Be gracious, appreciative and thankful. Remind them after the fact that you'd like something a little more subtle next year.
Step5
If the gifts are from an unwanted suitor, thank them for the sentiment but explain that you cannot keep them as you do not feel the same. Should they insist you keep the gifts anyway, take them and get rid of them out of their sight, to spare their feelings.
Novice