How to Prevent Emotional Affairs

In relationships, the word “affair” brings to mind the images of startled spouses in bed with secret lovers. However, affairs can be more than only physical. Emotional affairs are as dangerous as sexual affairs if not more so. While they are easy to slip into, they are not difficult to prevent.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Communication
• Honesty
• Empathy

1. Listen to your partner’s feelings. Your lover’s needs and emotions are very important and need to be heard. If there’s failure to let them know they’re important to you, someone else will make them feel important. Emotional affairs find strong beginnings with emotional neglect.

2. Keep your partner first. Over your family and your friends, your partner needs to be first and feel they are first. Emotional affairs start with cracks in the relationships, primarily in the shakiness of someone not feeling important. Keeping your partner first will prevent someone else from making them feel significant and wanted.

3. Set clear boundaries. Discuss with your partner what’s acceptable and what’s not in terms of dealing with other people outside the relationship. Establish if certain types of activities are too much like dating or too much time spent with someone else. Make clear what things only you two should do together and with no one else.

4. Spend quality time together. Emotional affairs have trouble starting if your relationship is being nourished by quality time together. Don’t let your time together consist of flying by one another in the kitchen or kissing for a second at night before bed.

5. Keep relationship issues between you or trusted parties. Every couple has issues, problems and stress that appear between them. Emotional affairs can find root as problems get voiced out to people that can’t be trusted and are looking for a way in. Keeping your problems between you or with a therapist will keep your vulnerability safe.

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on 10/31/2009 Great article about avoiding emotional affairs. I have a lot of training in relationship issues, and I agree with everything you wrote in this article. Excellent, and thanks for getting it out to the public.