How to Prevent an Argument

Tempers flare and emotions rise; big issues kill a relationship, arguments are the constant assault tearing at the foundation. While every couple will disagree, not every couple must roll up sleeves, pull out gauntlets and declare a duel. Disagreeing is healthy, but disharmony is deadly. Arguments are not only unnecessary, but avoidable.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A calm head
• Patience
• Space

1. Avoid situations for the argument. Yelling and screaming typically do not pop up from out of thin air. You know what topics make your partner lose their cool. Remember you’re not a victim powerless to the whims of the next fight, take control. If it’s a visit from a family member that annoys your partner, meet them without your beloved around. If it’s bringing up an ex-lover that heats things in a bad way, don’t mention them.
2. Use words properly. If something needs to be discussed, be mindful of your verbal selection. Arguments are like iced-over lakes, the wrong amount of pressure in the wrong spot and it’s a bad situation. Stick to talking calmly and without insults, judgments and old fights coming up.
3. Be in their shoes, empathize. There may be something in the topic that offends or hurts your partner. Look at things from their point of view. Most arguments erupt from defensiveness rather than maliciousness. Think about what they must feel that makes them react negatively. Let this ease your animosity to them.
4. Walk away. If an argument is brewing, remove yourself from its path. You’re not running away but there’s nothing wrong with coming back to talk when you can both be calm adults and not screaming children. Leave the room or house to get some air and cool off. Explain this before you do it so your partner doesn’t think you’re leaving for good or dramatic effect.