How to Move In Together

You've been so excited to get married and move in with your future spouse, and suddenly, during the process find yourself getting more annoyed with your partner then ever before! I remember the day my future husband and his dad arrived at our new apartment to move in his belongings. I am not a grouchy person, but as I stood at the top of the stairs and watched my fiance walking around the corner carrying a giant ugly speaker box, I just stopped and stared. I didn't say a word, but I guess my looks said it all. He looked at me and said "What's that look for?" I said, "What look?" He replied, "I see what you are thinking...you're thinking, 'what in the hell or you bringing that big piece of junk into my apartment for???' " Well, I couldn't deny it, that was EXACTLY what I was thinking as he moved that, along with other "junk" into the apartment. The conversation goes something like this: "Why are you bringing that in here? Where the hell am I supposed to put that?" -girl "Who cares, we'll just stick it in the corner or something" -guy "I don't want it in the corner, it's ugly!" -girl "Whatever. It'll look fine! besides, you could use it to put other stuff on" -guy "What other stuff? Other junk so we can make our apartment look like garbage?"-girl "I don't see why it's a big deal. I'll just stick it over here and you won't even notice it" -guy "ugh! You just don't get it! I want to make our place look nice! I don't want it to look like your room in college." -girl

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• patience! Moving is stressful!

1. First, guys need to realize that a lot of us girls have dreamed about our weddings and our future homes for our entire girly lives. After the wedding, it's exciting to move in together and make a home together. All those years of playing house are finally coming to be a reality and we want everything to be perfect. Even us more sloppy, unorganized girls want to make our house in order.
2. Before you move in together, really go through your belongings and decide what you really want to keep and what can be donated or thrown out. If both people move ALL their stuff in together, it's going to be overwhelming and simply too much STUFF!
3. If one of you is a pack rat, perhaps the other can help the pack rat sort through their things BEFORE the move. You don't want to feel like you are going crazy on move in day when you see all this "junk" coming into your new place knowing there is not place for it and that it is just going to create clutter.
4. When organizing your new home together, and all you can see is all this junk the other person has, stop and take a look at what you have that they would consider "junk". Your man might have a lot of sports or books "junk", but you might have a lot of craft or make-up "junk". before accusing them of having ALL the junk, look at what you are holding onto. If both of you sort through and agree to get rid of a few things, you'll both feel better. Try to not make demands on what they HAVE to get rid of...unless it's something ridiculous like 5 year old bank statements and receipts or cable bills from 3 apartments ago. I actually found and threw out plenty of those!
5. When it comes to decorating and arranging, be patient and realize, maybe each person should take responsibility for a different room, it can be painful trying to do it together. However, if one person really doesn't care and just wants to throw things where ever, just tell them they are off the hook and do it when they aren't around. That way you can surprise them with a nice room when they get home from work or a night out with the guys, and are welcome to make any suggestions afterwards.
6. Figure out who is going to be responsible for what. It doesn't have to be perfectly 50-50....in fact, it will probably never be 50-50 because both people should always be trying to give 100%. Sometimes one of you will be sick or super busy with work, and the household responsibilities will be more like 20-80! But decide who is going to be mainly responsible for daily basics like taking out the trash, laundry, cleaning the bathroom, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, making sure bills are paid on time...However, these do not need to be set in stone, you can both agree to jump in and help out with whatever needs to be done for upkeep.
7. Try not to get too obsessive about little things your partner does at first, like squeezing the toothpaste wrong, putting the toilet paper roll on the wrong way, loading the utensils in the dish washer the wrong way...Focusing on those little things...annoying as they may be, can diminish the fun excitement of living together. It's fine to make suggestions to your partner, but try not to nag or freak out if the other person left a little toothpaste in the sink. It will take some time to get used to each others habits and expectations, so be patient and pick your battles. The last thing you want is to be angry or annoyed at each other because now, you live together! You can't just go back to your own place and call them the next day when you're no longer annoyed.

Tips & Warnings

• GUYS! - Please don't make suggestions starting with "Well, my mom always did _____ this way" I think I speak for most women when I say, "We don't want to BE your mom!" even if she's great.
• Great advice I once heard that applies to both sexes..."no one is going to take care of you like your mother did, so don't expect that". Your partner will still love and take care of you, but it will be in a different way.
• If you are newlyweds, it is a good idea to work on conflict resolution before and after the marriage because situations of conflict are going to arise.