How to Have Harmony in Your Home

They say the mother sets the tone of the house. If you want more peace and harmony in your home, here are some ways to try and achieve that.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Having harmony in the home requires a group effort. Every one needs to pitch in an do their part, but it can be difficult to persuade kids or siblings to do their share when they are busy with school and other kid stuff. Yelling at them is not going to bring about harmony, so if getting everyone to help out is the problem, set a time when the family can sit down and discuss the issue. Kids have a hard time remembering that parents are people too. Determine a chore chart or schedule that everyone can reference too and know what they are responsible for. If there are certain yucky jobs, rotate those every week or two so everyone takes a turn. Having everyone help out lightens the load on mom, which in turn, means she can be happier and focus on doing more fun things with her family. You can help younger kids understand by explaining to them that if they help out by making their own bed and putting away their own laundry, mom will have more time to read stories or play games. If you can, enlist the help of a maid service to come in once every week or two for a deep cleaning to get whatever you've missed or haven't had the time to do. The burden of the household chores and responsibilities alone can create stress and chaos, preventing a harmonious atmosphere.
2. Choose your battles. Even when we're trying our best it's normal to sometimes feel invisible or unappreciated when kids and spouses don't seem to listen or understand all thing things you do for them. But it is also important not to be a nag either. You don't want to be nit picking and constantly harping on your kids or your husband for all the things they aren't doing right. Instead of focusing on what the people in your house are doing wrong, focus on what they are doing right and let them know. Even though your kids may have left the hose on and brought some mud into the house, let them know what a great job they did at washing the sidewalk and watering the lawn, and then have them clean up the mud.
3. Make time to have fun together. The key to having harmony in the home is to slow down and enjoy down time together. Our world is so busy and we're always rushing from place to place, doing chores and preparing for the next day. It can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all and forget to enjoy each other. Have dinner together as often as possible, preferably at the dinner table with the television turned OFF. Plan a family night once a week or once a month, whatever works best for your family. Let everyone help decide what kind of activities to do. You could have a game night, movie night, picnic day, breakfast for dinner night followed by a pajama party/sleepover in the living room, a hike, going to a family fun center, bowling...whatever interests your family.
4. Take care of each other. If you notice that someone in your family/house has a lot on their plate, help them out. Be there for each other and support each other. Encourage this behavior in your kids by urging them to do some of their siblings chores if the they had a bad day at school or are not feeling well. You can make this more fun by using hearts made from construction paper. Keep a stash of hearts somewhere, and whenever you do something nice for someone else in the family, leave a heart at the scene. Ex: If a sister makes her brother's bed for him, she can leave a heart on top of his blanket. Or if it was Johnny's turn to clean the bathroom but has a lot of homework, you can surprise him by doing it for him and tape the heart on the door or mirror. In a family, we are supposed to make each other's burden's light.
5. Firm rules. To have harmony in the home, it is essential to have firm rules about not calling names or criticizing each other. This can be difficult and needs to be taught be example. You may also want to repeat the following "you get what you get and you don't get upset" to ward off arguments about things not being fair or even all the time. It's also important to be flexible with some of the rules. The most important rules being safety and not hurting each other's feelings. Other rules, like limited TV time, should be able to slide sometimes. Especially if the kids are running out of things to do and starting to drive you and each other crazy.
6. Take care of yourself. You have to take time out to do things you enjoy and recharge so you can help maintain and create harmony in your home. Whether its a bath, reading, exercise, time out with friends...just make sure you carve out that time for yourself so you can be your best self.
7. Use the L word as often as possible. Let your spouse and kids know you love them. Even if you don't like what they are doing, it is important that they understand that you are only upset with their actions, but you still love them unconditionally. Show affection by saying "I love you", giving hugs, pats on the back, winks, acts of kindness, and spending plenty of quality time together.
8. Prioritize. If you are married, your spouse should feel like a priority, even if they have to fend for themselves now and then. Find ways to make sure your spouse knows they are still your number one. Your spouse should be number one because your relationship is the foundation of your family. Make sure you have dates, even if you can't go out, plan a special night in. Make a special dinner or order in your favorite dinner once the kids are in bed.
9. Respect. It's important to respect each other and to respect each other's belongings. Teach your kids to respect your belongings and make it a rule that everyone in the family needs to ask before using something that belongs to someone else in the household. It is also important to respect each other's ideas and feelings.
10. Pray for each other and pray together. Never underestimate the power of prayer, especially when family members are praying for each other. Pray for your spouse and your children and pray with them as well. Teach your children to pray for their siblings, grandparents, cousins, parents, ect. If one child is going through a hard stage, help them pray for the ability to overcome it. Pray for your home to be filled with love, peace and harmony.

Tips & Warnings

• get support from other parents through your local church, MOPS, friends or other social groups.