How to Be Really Annoying (Humor Article)

This is another humor How to by me. Sorry, having a sense of humor is just part of what I do. Hence, my website at Myspace displaying me doing really odd humor videos. (/amythystamarylis for the curious). Anyway, this is for those who would like to get a good laugh or perhaps any celebrities who have run out of ideas to annoy the public to get attention. Don't read if you are looking for a serious article.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• car (optional)
• people to drive crazy

1. Wear oversized or odd shaped/colored sunglasses in public with strange colored wigs with optional odd clothes for no reason and see how many people stare at you. (This is directly drawn from my humor videos).
2. Wear last year's Halloween/Masquerade/stage costume (the stranger looking, the better) in public and wave at everyone you see. (This also works with just a mask).
3. If you have Roundabouts in your city like we do locally, get in a car and drive around in circles as people coming have to yield to traffic to the left. (This one might actually anger the local authorities so be careful).
4. Go to any building that has a revolving door and keep going around in the door until someone yells at you.
5. Ride the local escalator facing the wrong way. For added annoyance, try to walk against it or march in place. Try not to walk against if too many people are on it and take care for your own safety.
6. Drive around in figure 8 shapes in your local parking lot--again this might upset authorities so be careful. (If it's slippery this also may be hazardous).
7. Skate across freshly waxed floors. This causes a lot of frustration to the person who waxes them, so be careful not to upset someone with health issues.
8. Ask the local retail sales clerks for help with everything you possibly can even if you don't need it. For example, you are in front of end cap with marshmallows on it and you ask the clerk next to you for help finding the marshmallows. (I added this one because I was in retail for a while and I know it's annoying).
9. Speak in a foreign language, code language, or foreign accent even though most people know you are American or whatever nationality you are. I actually have done this to my relatives when I knew who was calling. I say, "Hola. No habla ingles," for the most part. Code languages like Pig Latin can annoy people too. I knew people who taught this to their family members and would do this at work when they didn't want people to hear what they said.
10. Ask really dumb questions you already know the answer to--such as, "Who manufactures Ford cars?" or "Soap--what is soap?"
11. Will add more steps later if I feel it is necessary.

Tips & Warnings

• You can also consult a practical joke book for annoying things to do.
• Try not to anger the local authorities too much which can result in tickets or fines.
• Beware of people with health problems who can't take much stress.
• When doing something annoying, practice safety especially weather safety.