How to Punish a Child (not recommended for teenagers)

Punishing a child is never easy. It causes a lot of grief for the parent as well as the child. These tips will help you to punish your child fairly and with confidence. Children must learn that their actions do have consequences. With out them, children may grow up to be self-serving individuals or bullies. It is a parent's responsibility to teach children to be fair and honest individuals. As children learn by example as well, it is important that we avoid using harsh words and brutal punishments.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Set limits and boundaries.
   
   The parent needs to know exactly what those limits are as the children will continuously be challenging them. Parents must stick to their guns, what is not ok today is not ok tomorrow and the day after. There should be no bending of the rules as this will only confuse the child.
2. Punishments should fit the crime.
   
   Small punishments for small acts of bad behavior and large punishments for severe acts of misbehavior.
3. Keep your cool.
   
   The parent must try very hard not to loose his/her temper as things may be said and done that will be regretted shortly. After all, they are only children and children will make mistakes and test the waters often.
4. Time outs.
   
   Time outs are a very good tool for punishment as they are not humiliating for the child or the parent. Here are the rules of a time out.
   
   1 - Remove the child from the situation.
   2 - Put them in a spot with little to no stimulation
   3 - Tell them in a very firm voice (without yelling) that they have misbehaved doing (xyz..) and that they will have to sit there until their time is up. No talking & No getting up.
   4 - Time out should be one minute for every year of age.
   5 - When the time out is up, the child should immediately apologize for their actions to the parent and if the situation fits, the other person that they have insulted or abused.
   6 - If the child refuses to apologize, put them back in their spot and repeat the steps. If the child still refuses to apologizes, the child should go right to their room until they are ready to come out and apologize and behave. It is very important that you remove video games or any other favorite toys from the room. (TV should never be allowed in a child's room for multiple reasons including punishment)
5. Removing privileges.
   
   If the child has done something very bad, remove special privileges like watching TV and playing video games. The punishment length should be determined by the severity of the act.
6. Warnings.
   
   Some acts of misbehavior are not worthy of punishment but are worthy of a warning that they may be punished if they continue the behavior. Be sure to clearly warn the child in a firm voice of what the consequences will be if they continue that behavior.
   
   Example, if your child is acting up at the dinner table. Tell him/her that if they continue to do that, they will be doing a time out and will not be allowed to have desert.
   
   Be sure to follow through with your warnings or you will not be taken seriously in the future.
7. Bullying.
   
   If your child is a bully, be a responsible parent and fix the problem now. Remember, nobody likes a bully OR their parents. If your child has been accused of bullying, I recommend that you take it seriously as these accusations are rarely untrue.
   
   Have a serious talk with your child about the situation. Be sure to punish them by removing privilages for a length of time (a day or week, depending on the situation). Warn the child that he/she will be removed from that activity completely if they do it again. (no more football, ballet or whatever) Have them write an essay on why bullying is bad during their punishment. Post it on the wall in the kitchen and keep it there as a reminder. Your child should also appologize to the other child as soon as possible, even if you have to drive your child to that child's home.
   
   If the child continues to bully, stick to your guns. Punish them again and if necessary, remove them from the activity completely.
   
   If your child continues to bully in other situations, I highly recommend you have a discussion with the school psychologist and get to the bottom of the problem immediately.

Tips & Warnings

• Every child and situation is different. You should always take your special situation into account before making punishments and be sure that the punishment actually fits the crime.