How to behave in a psychiatrist's office

Have you been to see a psychiatrist, as opposed to an MSW, CSW, or psychologist? If you're going to do this, be prepared. Which essentially means being very unprepared. Read on . . .

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Just you. (Do you know who that is?)

1. THE SOCIAL REALITY: Fortunately the stigma against visiting a psychiatrist has all but disappeared. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who treats mental conditions. They can prescribe drugs and leave you feeling that "they" think they know more about you than you know yourself. They do not think that. Remember that they do not think that before you enter their office.
2. YOUR APPROACH: If you are dishonest with a psychiatrist, you are wasting both your own time (and money), and his or hers (but he or she keeps your cash). This is serious. The rationale for confidentiality is precisely so that you feel completely free to be you. BE YOU! (To the best of your ability.)
3. YOUR DOCTOR: Don't try to understand him or her. You're you, and they are who they are, and they know this, and it's a waste of your resources to think about what *they* are thinking. It's not about them. It's about you. And remember: you hired them; they didn't hire you. They are working on your dime, not vice-versa. Your doctor is your employee.
4. DON'T NECESSARILY RELAX: A good friend once said to me, "Sometimes anxiety is a good thing. It gets you up and moving." (Not in quite those words, but you get the point.) This is very true, although relaxation is a wonderful thing. Don't even think about your demeanor when you walk in. Just be whatever self you happen to be at the moment.
5. NOTICE THE SMALL STUFF: I went through psychotherapy for about nine years, and I'll probably be back soon. My two greatest breakthroughs? (1) laughing at my therapist's Wallaby shoes. Why was that a breakthrough? I said, "I was just laughing because I haven't seen those shoes for so long." He said, "Well I just want you to know that I plan on retiring them by next week, and I don't want you to think it's something that you said that caused me to do it." (2) After I poured my guts out and screamed, he said, "I'm just trying to think of the most helpful thing that I can say to you now." Guess what? That was the most helpful thing he could have said. Suddenly, with my "authority complex," I realized that I was not alone and that there are many, many, many people out there (probably like you) who genuinely do what they do because they want the world to be a better place.
6. TERMINATION: Leave a psychiatrist who you do not feel is benefiting you. In my experience, I've found that after about 3 sessions you know whether or not this is worth your while. You have a large pool to draw from, so fire them and move on.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are experiencing serious psycho-physical abnormalities, seek professional help. This may require hospitalization.
• Remember that a psychiatrist is a human being, too. Treat them with respect. They are highly educated and their time is valuable. Despite this, they are there to serve you. Literally.
• Although I'm a trained philosopher, I claim no medical or even psychological expertise aside from having studied the history of psychology and having immersed myself in the arena of moral psychology, which is technically a branch of philosophy.
• If you are experiencing serious psycho-physical abnormalities, seek professional help. This may require hospitalization.