How to Look Completely Foolish in Court

If you ever find yourself required to go to court, this is what you'll want to do IF you want to look completely foolish. In other words, this is what NOT to do.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Don't Dress up for Court. Dressing up for court is only for attorneys and squares anyway. Besides, no one should judge you based solely on your appearance. They should be required to make allowances for people who look sloppy. There is no way your credibility could be affected by how you dress.
2. Constantly Interrupt the Judge. Judges will respect you more if you interrupt them constantly. You may even be able to intimidate judges by not simply shutting-up but by challenging them, their findings, rulings, orders, etc.
3. Don't Worry About Being Prepared. If actors on TV can do it, why can't you just waltz into court and bluff your way through too? Of course you can - because everybody does it. I mean, there's no possible way for you to forget something, get flustered, or talk too much and dig yourself into a hole. Get upset if something isn't done the way the TV does it, or if the judge gets on the bench 30 minutes after the start of the court hearing. You shouldn't have to do any research or prepare in any way - you should be catered to!

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure to get as frustrated as possible when something doesn't go your way.
• Be sure to express this frustration in the most obnoxious manner possible.
• America is all about questioning authority - up until the point when the cuffs are put on your wrist for contempt.
• Follow this tongue in cheek advice at your own risk.
• By following the advice, you may find yourself in contempt of court, or at the very least, as the title suggests, looking completely foolish.