Step1
FAIR Club
– You have the right to join the “FAIR” Club. Anytime you invoke the word “fair” or imply that you expect life to be fair, I will assume you want to join the club. I always expect you to be Respectful, Responsible, Honest, and Fun To Be Around (RRHAFTBA) and in return you will enjoy the rights and responsibilities that go with being part of this loving family. We do NOT try to make everything equal for everyone. We respect that each of our children has a different personality, is a different age, and has different wants, needs and abilities. Unlike the FAIR club, being part of our family means we sometimes cut you some slack and sometimes we’re here to help you live up to being more than average or equal.
Step2
Family
EVERY Family member must be Respectful, Responsible, Honest and Fun to be around (RRHAFTBA). You follow this rule whether you want to or not. Whether it’s easy or not. Not only will you respect your mom/dad, but you will respect my spouse. If you are disrespectful to us, you will be disciplined twice! Once for being disrespectful to Mom or Dad and once for being disrespectful to my wife/husband.
Remember YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT! This is a good thing! It means that while you should be aware of your family’s behavior and issues and try to help them if you can, you are not responsible for correcting them or disciplining them. THIS IS NOT YOUR JOB! It is our job as parents to keep everyone safe and help them be all that they can be. You are however, responsible for your own choices and behaviors, and being RRHAFTBA.
Step3
Attitude/Assigned Seats
Members of the FAIR club have assigned seats (at the dining room table, in the car, in the family room). They are expected to always have the family attitude (RRHAFTBA) – anything less would not be “fair” to them or everyone else.
Attitude is contagious – do you want others to catch yours? YOU are responsible for your choices. What are you going to do about it? There are hard things to do in life. That's ok, you CAN do hard things. Just do YOUR Best to live your life in a RRHAFTBA manner. That's all anyone can ask of you.
You don't have to like any particular person. You do however have to be courteous with everyone, even those you don't like. Learning this trait will help you to be RRHAFTBA.
There’ll be a $5 charge for Whhhiiinnniinngg! AND mom will sing a whining song, loudly and off key!
Last one to do something usually gets caught. That means if you “do unto others as they did unto you,” YOU will probably be the one to get caught and experience consequences. If someone has a bad attitude toward you or uses bad behavior, try to help them or get an adult to help. Revenge just gets YOU in trouble.
Step4
Investigations
Members of the FAIR club who feel something is not FAIR may put this in writing and submit it to the Investigation Committee (Mom and Dad) where it will be ruled on. Do not expect us to investigate an allegation or make a ruling without it being in writing and us having a chance for the committee to meet. You do not have to be in the FAIR club to use this committee.
Teachers are your "Boss" at school. You wouldn't disrespect a boss without expecting to get fired. Don't disrespect teachers for the same reason. I will always trust what a teacher tells me is the true story. I've never had a teacher lie to me. (PITY the teacher that ever does)
If I know that what you're telling me is untrue, then it's a lie, and the conversation is over. If you are leaving something important out on purpose it is STILL a lie.
Your parents talk to people at your school, parents of your friends, your friends, neighbors and people you don’t know we know. We know all and see all. Do not lie and sneak around. You WILL get caught. Whenever we’re lied to that means that you have chosen to have a consequence. Typically, this means you must have also been lying when you told us you wanted to attend ______________ (whatever fun activity you’ve requested to attend recently). A creative writing assignment is the consequence for lying, as at least then, it can be labeled fiction -and look how much money J.K. Rowling has made!
Step5
Rights/Responsibilities
For every “right” you have you have at least one, and usually more responsibilities (just like in our country).
If you want something that's not a required part of life, then you better plan on putting forth some effort for it. If you want "Freedom and Independence" then you must first show "Respect and Responsibility".
If you do a good job, you get praised for the good job. If you do a bad job, you get a chance to repeat the job until it's a good job. Learning how to do a job A+, fast and snappy instead of slow and crappy will result in you living your life in an A+ manner.
Even Jell-O has rules. They're called directions, or a recipe. If you don't follow the recipe for Jell-o, it turns out weak, tasteless, and unsatisfactory. If you don't follow life’s rules, your life will turn out weak, tasteless, and unsatisfactory.
If you’re doing something I think is wrong, I will assume you don’t know any better. Sometime soon I will show you how to do this correctly and we will “practice” it many times (Warning: this is at MY convenience and may happen to be when you had plans).
For every choice you make in life, you receive either a benefit or a consequence. Make a good choice, you'll probably get a benefit. Bad choices usually result in consequences. Sometimes, good choices result in consequences as well. Put on your "Big Girl Panties" or your "Big Boy Boxers" and deal with it. AKA “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!”
If you're doing something that makes you think you should look around to see who's watching -- don't do it. Someone is ALWAYS watching. That inclination to look around is your conscience telling you not to do what you know is wrong.
Step6
FAIR Club letter sample:
Dear ____________,
Welcome to the FAIR Club! The FAIR Club is designed to give you boundaries and additional support while you practice and gain (or regain) the ability to be Respectful, Responsible, Honest, and Fun To Be Around (RRHAFTBA). First, we, your parents, want to apologize to you for not making you feel safe enough to be part of this loving, healthy family. We are making a commitment to you to help you become RRHAFTBA.
Assigned Seat - As you know this means you will have an assigned seat in the van (_behind the driver in the middle row_), an assigned seat in any other vehicle (behind the driver seat ), an assigned seat at the dining room table (1 spaces to the left of the head of the table_), and an assigned seat in the family room (_blue couch next to the navy recliner_). This helps decrease the number of decisions that you have to make so you can focus on the important ones.
Bed Time - You will also be in your room by 8:00pm and in bed with your eyes closed and the lights out by 8:15pm. This is to help you get the rest you need (learning to be RRHAFTBA is hard work!). Getting out of bed to get a snack, get a drink of water, or go to the bathroom shows me you still need more time to learn to be RRAFTBA. Do these things BEFORE room time!
Electronics - No TV (unless the show is approved by a parent – at the time). No music (you may listen to approved CDs, IF you have shown you can handle it), and no video game time while in the FAIR club so you can concentrate/focus on learning to be RRHAFTBA! Phone time will be limited and may be removed completely.
Family Time - You will need to hang around the family a LOT so we can show you by example how to be RRHAFTBA. You will probably be expected to do extra chores and help cook so you can practice being RRHAFTBA. You will need to make lots of eye contact and use a pleasant tone of voice when speaking with others. If you need any help – ASK! That’s what we are here for.
Step7
FAIR Club letter sample (part B):
If you no longer wish to be part of the FAIR Club, you must SHOW us that you are ready to rejoin us a full member of this loving, healthy family by:
1. Being RRHAFTBA! And following the FAIR club and family rules without complaint, whining or argument.
2. Complete your writing assignment (listed at the bottom of this page). Use neat handwriting, complete sentences and good spelling and grammar. You can ask a parent for help or use a dictionary.
3. Sincerely apologize to all parties involved (including both parents).
4. Sincerely offer restitution to all parties involved (how can you make it right?)
Extra Chore: You will clean the refrigerator inside and out (don’t forget under the drawers).
Writing Assignment: _ Read the article about restitution. Leaving room to add to each answer, write 6 things you have done recently that you should make restitution for. For each of these things write who you need to make restitution to. Ask that person in what way you can provide restitution (You can offer suggestions from the list in the article). Write down what you have decided to do – do it!
Love,
Mom and Dad
Enthusiast 
