How to Sneak Recyclables into the Trash

Yes, you care about the earth. Yes, you want to do your part. But sometimes you missed the recyclables pickup and you just have to get rid of the newspapers and cans. Some places, like New York City, will ticket you if they find recyclables in the trash. Others won’t pick up the haul at all. So you’ve got to be crafty to sneak recyclables into the trash. Here’s how.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Water, grease or other liquid waste products
• Opaque garbage bags
• Innovation

1. Destroy paper items, especially anything that contains your address. Chop up cardboard into little pieces, shred magazines and rip up newspapers. Paper items can be left in plain view as long as they are destroyed enough and drizzled with water, bacon grease or other disgusting substance that make them more trash than recyclables.
2. Camouflage cans by stepping on them to make them look like little hunks of junk. Ferret them down into the center of the trash.
3. Wrap the glass bottles and jars in newspapers and trash bags then smash them. Crushed glass can be easily dispersed throughout the regular trash heap.
4. Package all your trash in an opaque bag so if any of the recyclables still appear recyclable, no one will notice anyway.

Tips & Warnings

• Be careful of the broken glass. Label it if your trash is picked up by hand rather than a hoisting machine so no one gets hurt.
• Don’t make sneaking recyclables into the trash a habit.
• Don’t tell your landlords, your neighbors or the trash man what you’re doing.