How to Deal With a Long-Distance Relationships in College

Heading off to college often means heading away from home and away from your high school sweetheart. Being 18 and leaving your first love can be one of the most trying ordeals of your young life. I did it once; and here are my tips to help.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Before you go. You cannot simply pretend as if it isn’t going to happen. You know what college you got into a long time before you have to pack up and leave. As hard as it may be, you have to sit down and discuss what is going to happen and why and what you are going to do about it. You cannot assume that your significant other is on the same page as you.
2. Some conclusion. Just talking about how hard it is going to be to be apart isn’t enough. You have to come to some sort of conclusion about what your relationship is going to be when you are gone at college. Try to be as realistic and clear as possible. The more ambiguity you leave, the more pain and difficulty later on. Lay it all out on the table; everything from being exclusive to how much you should talk on the phone should be discussed.
3. Reality check. Once you are gone you need to make some steps to actually be gone. You cannot spend all day on the phone with your love back home. You will miss endless and unrepeatable experiences in your early college days by doing this. Find a balance somehow.
4. Reflection. Take those early days to really reflect on your relationship. Is it really going to work in college? Is it worth the pain and suffering of being apart? Are you really going to stick it out for 4 years?
5. Hard truth. Think about it. The truth is, 99% of the time, a long distance relationship doesn’t work out. Being a freshman in college makes things extraordinarily more difficult. It is one of those experiences that you really can only have once. If you waste it you’ll regret it forever. The truth about college is that you are surrounded by thousands of other newly freed and ready to party teenagers. You need to live it up. You shouldn’t pass up experiences based on a high school love.
6. Preemptive strike. To be brutally honest, you cannot totally understand it at the time. One day you will look back on it and cringe for all of the time you wasted. The truth is, it isn’t worth it. Your first love may feel like the only true love in the world but half of the time it doesn’t even turn out to be as real as you think in retrospect. For once, think with your head and give way to your desires.
   
   The early you break up, the better. You should get it over with as quickly as possible for a number of reasons. The quicker you do it the easy it will be to get over it. The quicker you do it the quicker you can both start to enjoy your own lives. You know you are only hurting each other in the long run by staying together.
   
   Chances are, your significant other is feeling similarly.

Tips & Warnings

• Love hurts.