How to Help a Friend Recover From Surgery

When a friend or family member has to undergo surgery or is struck by a debilitating illness, it’s common for loved ones to want to do something—-anything—-to make recovery easier on them. A few thoughtful gestures can go a long way toward assisting them in their time of need.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Consider your strengths. Do you want to provide meals but are a horrible cook? Pick up her favorite take-out or give her a gift certificate for her favorite place. which she can use when it’s most needed.
2. Think outside the box. When people are recovering from surgery or illness, they’re typically deluged with food. What they really may need is help with other things: their house, their kids, or everyday tasks such as bill paying. Offer your housecleaning services or make a week’s worth of brownbag lunches for her elementary-aged child.
3. Offer specific help: “If there’s anything you need, call me.” It’s a common offer, but how many of us will really take friends up on that vague suggestion? Instead, tell your pal that you’d like to babysit her six-year-old after school while she’s healing and ask whether that’s okay with her.
4. Call first. When you’re feeling bad, you usually look even worse. And there’s nothing quite as bad as greeting an unannounced visitor in a 2-day-old nightgown. Do the patient—-and yourself—-a favor by calling ahead to see when it’s convenient for you to drop by.
5. Deliver what you say you will. Even worse than not offering help when your friend needs you is not following through on the assistance you promised. Unless you have a true emergency of your own, put aside unexpected conflicts with your schedule and be there for your friend.

Tips & Warnings

• Sometimes what a recovering sickie needs most is entertainment. Offer to run to the library for her if she wants to read or the video store if she wants to watch movies. After all, who knows her taste like you do?
• Be careful not to step on her spouse’s toes. Most husbands are grateful for extra hands when their wives are out of commission; but make sure to clear plans such as childcare through him too.