How to Tell Someone You Have Multiple Sclerosis

Telling a loved one you have a serious illness is one of the most emotionally difficult tasks one can face. The following can be used for ANY illness or "bad news."

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Some reading material or website links that further describe your condition or situation

1. Invite your friend to a cup of coffee at your house. This is not something you want to do in public. Make sure it's a non-alcoholic beverage. NEVER tell someone important news over alcohol. Have a drink after the news breaking, if need be, not before or during.

2. Mention to the person that you've not been feeling well and the reason for your symptoms has finally been discovered. Word it in your own way, try to keep the atmosphere as light as possible.

3. Tell your friend the diagnosis and prognosis. Let them know it's not contagious and they cannot "catch" it from you. Give it a moment to sink in.

4. Be prepared to answer questions- allow the person to ask you whatever they want(and understand that sometimes, tact goes out the door after bad news. Some people will ask the most personal or uncomfortable questions. Just remember they're trying to understand what you are going through and what you are feeling). Have some books, websites, and/or pamphlets on hand for the person to borrow to read up on your condition (if they want).

5. Tell the person what this means for you, personally. (For example: Some days I may be in pain, my muscles may not want to work properly, etc).

6. Then tell them what it means for your relationship. (For example, if they're your best friend, you may not be able to make five hour shopping trips in the mall, but you're definitely still able to have coffee and movie nights.)

7. Remind the person you're still you, just a less healthy you. Tell them you don't want them to feel like they have to tip-toe around you (that gets frustrating and awkward- some people will start treating you like a glass object, or as if you're a bomb ready to explode).

8. Be prepared to comfort and reassure the person. You may suggest a few websites for friends/spouses/parents of your condition. The person can go to the site and interact with other supporters.

9. Let them know you're going to need emotional support and happy distractions.

10. Don't drag the conversation on longer than necessary. When the conversation is over, move onto something happy or unimportant. Continue with a light and positive note.

[Melanieee]

on 8/8/2008 Very good article

[JRIngrisano]

on 5/1/2008 A terrific and important article. Thank you for sharing it. I had a dear friend with MS. He was a delight and always cheerful, braver than I could ever imagine being. This piece may well make a difference for many other people. God bless. JRI

[richardchan]

on 5/1/2008 I somewhat went through this. Definitely good tips for others! Thanks for the article!