How to Sleep With Your Partner

For those of you looking for sex advice, this is the wrong article. However, if you share a bed with your significant other, feel free to read on. Getting enough rest is essential for physical and emotional well-being, but sharing a bed can make it difficult for some couples.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A bed
• Your partner
• Respect for the other person
• Common sense

1. First, realize that if you have a queen-size or smaller mattress, you each have less space of your own than if you each occupied a twin-sized bed. Sharing so much of your personal space can be quite cozy and intimate, but problems can arise if you're not careful. Make sure you are clean and have brushed your teeth before turning in. Few things are more unpleasant than waking up with someone's rancid breath, or, even worse, a smelly armpit right in your face.
2. The room should not be so cold that you're shivering, but it shouldn't be so hot you break a sweat, either. Because we're all a little different, it's quite possible that you and your partner will be comfortable at different temperatures. Compromise! It is better to err on the too-chilly side, because you can always add more blankets, but if your partner's already naked and covered only with a sheet, there's not much else he can do to cool down.
3. DO NOT hog the blankets. It's particularly discourteous to tuck one end under your body and roll, so that the entire blanket is wrapped around you burrito-style. If you or yours is a blanket-hog, get a bigger blanket! Or, if you're both short and no one's feet will poke out the bottom, turn the blanket so it lies sideways across the bed. The extra length at the sides will ensure you're both perfectly covered. If all else fails, each of you should have a separate blanket. It's less intimate than sharing covers, but still better than freezing or sleeping in different beds.
4. Cuddling is nice, but beware, because an innocent cuddle can quickly turn to crowding. If, halfway through the night, you wake up slightly and think, "Hmmm, the bed seems roomier than usual," instead of stretching out to fill the vacant space, MOVE OVER. Your wife is likely clinging precariously to the edge of the bed, about to plunge onto the floor at any moment.
5. Control your gas. Of course, an occasional slip-up is fine- you are, after all, close enough to be sharing a bed! However, if you are a habitual offender, or if your emissions are real scorchers (or deafeningly loud), it's worth taking a look at your diet. Eliminate foods that cause gas, or, at the very least, eat them earlier in the day. Try a product like Beano if that doesn't work. A friend of mine once told me he likes to hold his wife under the covers and "let one rip." This is UNACCEPTABLE. Do not do it, unless you want her to divorce you and take everything.
6. Snoring, especially the very loud, "sawing logs" type of snoring, is particularly disruptive to your partner's sleep. If you only snore occasionally, like when sick or drunk, then ok. But if it's a common occurrence, see your doctor. You might have sleep apnea, which can be dangerous if not treated. Or, it might be something simple, like allergies, or a few extra pounds. Running a humidifier, using strips designed to keep your nasal passages clear, or losing some of the extra weight will help you and your partner sleep a little better.
7. If you get up repeatedly, you are sure to annoy your partner. Don't go to bed hungry. Limit fluids right before bedtime. Lock doors, windows, etc., and turn off the stove, iron, etc. at the beginning of your bedtime routine. Check them once, then forget about it. The door will not unlock itself, and the stove will not light itself and then hop over to the curtains, igniting them. Your email can wait till morning. If you have small children that cry at night, you should go to them, but you should also teach them how to soothe themselves and go back to sleep when it's dark.
8. If you read before going to sleep, turn off the light when you are done. Each partner should have a separate bedside lamp, because they are less disruptive than the overhead light. Try not to watch T.V. in the bedroom. If you must, headphones are a good option to avoid disrupting your partner. Set the sleep timer so the T.V. will go off if you fall asleep.
9. If your dreams cause to become very active, try to relax before bed. A hot bath or a cup of caffeine-free tea might be just what your brain needs to calm down.

Tips & Warnings

• If these tips don't work, experiment until you find something that does. Everyone's different!
• It's hard to control your actions in your sleep! Don't be too hard on yourself or your partner if you don't notice immediate change, or if there's a lapse now and then.
• Some couples should not sleep together, no matter how much they want to! If you or your partner has night terrors, for example, be VERY, VERY careful if you decide to share a bed. People have actually killed their partners while in the grip of a very bad dream.
• If either partner snores excessively, and nothing seems to help, both people will probably be better rested if they bed down in separate rooms.
• It's probably ok if your child(ren) sleep with you once in awhile, but don't make a habit of it. Children can be very disruptive!