How to Live With a Woman Who Acts Like a Child

Your girlfriend may be cute when she talks like a toddler, hides her face in your neck during horror flicks or wants a cuddly hug, but that cuteness wears thin. Beware of the “damsel in distress” syndrome where the man is expected to gallop in on a white horse and save the world. Healthy adult relationships need to contain two adults. These steps will help you to live with a woman who acts like a child.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Hug her, tell her you love her but you are getting worn down from coming to her rescue every three minutes. Discuss how nice it would be if you each pulled some equal weight in the relationship.

2. Make a list of all the things that are acceptable, such as burying her head in your neck during scary movies, and things that are not, such as her throwing a temper tantrum in the department store when you won’t buy her a $5,000 necklace. Share this list with her.

3. Set your limits and stick with them. A childlike woman may be highly skilled at childlike manipulation. Be wary when she starts batting her eyelashes, makes a puppy face and begs “Please” in a high-pitched voice or promises sex to get what she wants.

4. Tell her how much you admire strong, independent women who can forge ahead on their own. Tell her you want to help her be more like that and you’re going to start by not running to her aid every three seconds.

5. When she starts acting like a child, lovingly point it out as an example of what can be changed to make your relationship better.

6. Get her to help out with some “manly” chores to learn how to do them on her own. She should know how to mow the lawn and use power tools. But help her with programming or setting up electronics, heavy-duty maintenance or anything that has to do with a car. (Hey, that may be sexist, but I’d rather the guy change the flat tire, thank you.)

Tips & Warnings

• You can still be a gentleman without being a doormat. Chivalry did not die with World War II. Open the door for her, willya?