How to Live With a Man who Acts Like a Child

You didn’t get into an adult relationship to double as your lover's mother. But sometimes that happens. When couples fall into this trap, it can be a predicament that serves to cripple, or even sever, the relationship. It can also make you pretty harried and angry. If you live with a man who acts like a child, you need to put your foot down, hard, and try some steps to help him grow up.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Talk to him. The first successful step in changing anything in a relationship is to talk openly about the problem. Tell him you love him dearly but you are becoming frustrated when he reminds you of a mother-dependent Norman Bates. Of course, don’t use the Bates reference.
2. Set boundaries. Figure out what you will and will not do for him and stick with it. If he needs a ride to work, OK. If he needs someone to taxi him around town for lunch, new jeans and a soda every five minutes, not OK.
3. Watch the money habits. Too many times I’ve seen women fall for men who are perpetually unemployed. If need be, give him an allowance but make it clear you need to be paid back and stop the money flow if he doesn’t get up from in front of the TV and get himself a job. Post a budget to the fridge so he sees how much money he’ll need to give you back.
4. Have phone numbers handy. If he gets too whiny, immature and childlike, hand him some phone numbers. Good ones include a day care service, a psychiatrist and his mother.

Tips & Warnings

• There are plenty of books on co-dependency that offer useful tips.
• If you like being his mother, disregard all this and enjoy. Just know it's not healthy.
• You don’t have to be mean to be firm. Talk lovingly and leave out the sarcasm, phrases like: “Real men don’t borrow money,” “How old are you again?” and “Are you a man or a mouse?”