How to Meet New Friends

If you have recently moved or are new to a school, workplace, or church and have to start over, you may find friendships are few and far between. Sometimes it is difficult to find those with whom you share the same interests, if you don’t know where to look. Fortunately, there are places where you’ll be sure to find someone to join you in that cup of coffee--and in your thoughts and ideas as well. Here's how to meet new friends.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A listing of local organizations
• A pamphlet of adult education courses in your community
• A course catalogue from a local college or university
• Access to local library

1. Go where your interests lie. If you are passionate about the arts, join a local arts organization, or frequent the local museum. Talk to the people who work there, and see if they need volunteers. Most arts organizations thrive on volunteers, as they are low on funds and high on project needs.

2. If you are interested in charity work, volunteer at the local shelter, or see if there is an office where you can perform volunteer administrative work.

3. Take a class. Most communities hold adult education courses that are relatively inexpensive. Find a listing online, or contact a local school to see if they have any information on adult education classes in your town. Or audit a class at a local university or college – most hold courses at night. If you really enjoy it, you might want to spend the money on one course. Talk to the other students after class, and arrange a study group. Or plan an after-class excursion with a group to a local café.

4. Join a book club, or a writers’ group. Many communities have groups such as these, which meet weekly or monthly, depending upon how the group is set up. Check with your town library, as many libraries sponsor such groups. Or go online to your community’s website and see what you can find.

5. If you are a new mother, look into a mother’s group. Many hospitals hold group meetings for new mothers, giving them a chance to connect and network with others who are experiencing the same joys and foibles that new motherhood brings. Check with your local hospital to see if such a group exists for you.

6. Open up and talk. Whether you’re at the local market, the bookstore downtown, or the café on the corner, the best way to meet people is to start talking. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out conversation. Just find something positive or pleasant that could be the subject for conversation, and talk about that. For example, if you’re at the local café, talk about how much you like their food, how great the weather is today, or how you want to bring a friend to the café to try out the food. If you frequent a place of business, they’ll begin to know you, and will greet you when you enter. They might even become your good friends.

7. Be yourself. Talking to people you don’t know might be difficult for you, so the first thing to keep in mind is to present yourself as honestly as you can. Don’t try to be someone else, or try to impress. People can generally see through those tactics, and be turned off. Let people know that you are an open and friendly person. By staying true to your own nature, you’ll be less nervous, and others will be more attracted to you and want to get to know you.

Tips & Warnings

• Let them talk, and be a good listener.
• It is always a good plan to pick neutral meeting places in the beginning of your friendship.
• Don’t give away too much about yourself all at once. Once you are better acquainted, then you can relax a bit more about showing your faults and flaws--and they will, too.

[acherryscott]

on 8/15/2009 Good advice! There is definitely a science to it today!

[GilinAtlanta]

on 12/21/2008 Good work! Nice article.

[bethnc]

on 8/17/2008 I am new at this and am looking for a friend over fifty, I work five days a week have four grown children and have just had my fifth grandchild. It feels like life is slipping away as I work full time and come home to feed all the animals and end up going to bed to get ready for the next day. There must be more to life than this. Do others feel this way? Where do you start to live again.

[whoodo]

on 7/15/2008 I am printing this article for my 19 year old who is moving from Hutchinson, KS population about 45,000 to Albequerque N.M. to live for a year and work for T-mobile so that she can return to college after establishing her year residency there. Although she is very outgoing and loved by people of all ages, Ashley is worried about making friends as opposed to acquaintences. I think this article might help her. Not sure how to rate, so will just let you know I give this four stars.

[whoodo]

on 7/15/2008 This was a very informative article. My 19 year old is moving from Hutchinson, KS to N.M. and is a little nervous about making new friends as opposed to acquaintences. She is so outgoing I don't think she will have a problem but Albequerque's population is a bit higher than our 40,000 or so. I am forwarding this to her e-mail. I give this four stars.