How to Help Your Nervous Child at Exam Time

A child who is extremely nervous at exam time needs special attention and support to reassure her that she can do it. The approach is twofold - teach her how to study more efficiently and help her to manage her stress better.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Quiet study place
• Patience
• Calm

1. Encourage her to begin studying for an examination several days up front. If she leaves it to the night before, she will be relying on her short term memory. Under stress, she risks forgetting everything when relying only on short-term memory. It is much better for her to start studying several days in advance so that the information is stored in her long-term memory.
2. Suggest to her that she reread her notes several times and on a regular basis. This should be done even when it is not exam time. That way, the information will be easily absorbed into her memory and she will feel more confident about what she knows.
3. Help her to manage her stress. Granted, a little bit of nerves can help her performance but too much stress and she risks making errors because she cannot concentrate and has memory loss. She even risks anxiety attacks. To help avoid this, make sure you don't set unrealistic standards for her. Make sure she is not thinking that her parents will be disappointed if certain grade levels are not achieved. How do you do this? Talk with her. Tell her that you are proud of her abilities and her work, no matter how she does. Tell her that she is special, important and clever in your mind. Positive speaking works far more effectively than unrealistic expectations and are far more constructive. Another effective tool can be that of visualization. Ask her to visualize exam success and to always try to carry this picture in her mind.
4. Talk her through what to do during the exam. When she starts the exam, suggest that she start the exam by writing down the things she found hard to remember - and to do this before she even reads the questions! That way, she has the hard things written down (in short form) and can look at the questions in a relaxed way without panicking and forgetting what matters. Tell her to read each exam question at least twice before replying, to ensure that she understands exactly what is being asked. And finally, suggest that she leave the hardest questions until last. This strategy will increase her confidence and prevents her getting stuck on difficult areas that can cause her to panic and not complete most of the exam because even the easy questions seem difficult.

Tips & Warnings

• It can be helpful to go through exams with your child when the results are not great. That way you can both work on devising strategies for improving future approaches to the exam and share the study methods together.