How to Plan an Interfaith Wedding Ceremony

Planning a wedding that incorporates multiple faiths can be challenging. The bride and groom may have conflicting expectations of the wedding, as may members of their families. Here's how to plan an interfaith wedding ceremony in a way that minimizes conflict and helps the couple create an unforgettable event.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Communicate with each other about what you want. The bride and groom—and perhaps members of their families as well—should sit down and discuss what aspects of religion and culture they want to include in the wedding. The bride and groom should each create a "wish list" of things they want dearly, and other things that are less important.
2. Compromise. Take your lists of what you really want and what is less important, and carefully come up with a wedding that incorporates as many of your most important wishes as possible.
3. Decide on one or more types of officiants. Do you want one from each of your faiths, or from just one faith? Would you prefer a secular officiant, such as a justice of the peace?
4. Find a officiant. If you want one or more clergy members to conduct the wedding, you'll have to find one that is willing to participate in an interfaith wedding. For help, check out the Interfaith Officiants, a referral service that helps couples find appropriate officiants (see Resources below).
5. Decide on a location. If you want to get married in a house of worship, you'll have to choose one of your faiths, and you'll also have to find a congregation that allows interfaith weddings. This is unlikely to be an issue if you choose a secular location for your wedding.
6. Include explanations in your ceremony of any religious or secular traditions that some of your guests may not recognize. For example, if your wedding is partially Jewish and you break a glass, ask the officiant explain to the non-Jewish guests the significance of that tradition. Guests will feel more at home if they understand what's going on.

Tips & Warnings

• If you're having trouble envisioning a ceremony that combines your religious backgrounds, talk to a clergy member who has conducted some interfaith weddings. The clergy members may be able to give you some ideas of what to include and what to leave out, and how to blend together traditions.
• Include fun cultural traditions in the reception, such as dance and music. This will be less controversial than any religious aspects of your ceremony and will help people relax and have a good time.
• Some people may be unhappy no matter how you choose to plan your interfaith wedding. You may need to just accept this. Do the best you can to incorporate a mix of traditions that makes everyone happy, but beyond that, there's little you can do to please people who don't approve of your marriage. Recognize that this is their problem, not yours, and try not to let it get you down.

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