How to Cope With a Spouse With Different Spending Habits

Coping with a spouse with different spending habits can be extremely stressful and frustrating. Money tends to be one of those hot topics in a relationship, and when you are married, money issues seem to loom. Here are some suggestions for learning to cope with a spouse with different spending habits.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Talk about the issue. The trap a lot of couples tend to fall into is that they quietly seethe about their partner’s spending habits, become resentful and explode. Instead of suffering in silence, open up about your frustration before you become resentful and bitter.
2. Be respectful. When discussing your partner’s spending, be considerate of their feelings. Instead of blaming them for your financial woes, think of a way to present the problem to them without confrontation. Pick a time when you are both feeling good, and lightly say that you are a little concerned about your financial situation. Do not blame them.
3. Look over your spending habits. Plan a time when the two of you can sit down together and look over your bills. Detail how much money you spend on your rent or mortgage, food, gas, utilities and entertainment and eating out. Make columns for what the two of you spend separately on items. You may be surprised to learn your spending habits. Whereas you get frustrated with your husband buying DVDs or gadgets, the amount of money you spend on cosmetics or clothing could be comparable or more.
4. Create a budget. Look at ways to trim excess spending. Make sure that you are both happy with the arrangement and stick to it. The instant one of you tries to sneak in an extra purchase, you are asking for trouble.
5. Consider having a preset limit for purchases. For example, any purchase over $50 must be discussed with the other spouse. Any presents over $40 must be discussed with the other spouse. By keeping your spouse abreast of what you are spending, you won’t be startled to get the credit card bill at the end of the month.
6. Establish separate accounts. If you struggle with spending, create a joint account where you both contribute the money you spend on living and expenses. Put equal amounts into the account each month, and at the end of the year put the rest in a savings plan. It’s advisable to establish a savings account for retirement or emergency where you both make contributions also. Any other money you earn, put in your own checking or savings account to spend as you please. Knowing that your needs are being met will lower your stress level, and you won’t focus as much on your partner’s spending habits.
7. Get rid of credit cards. Credit cards can be an excellent way to establish credit if you pay the balance off every month; however, if you are married to a spendthrift, it’s also an excellent way to get buried in debt. If your partner struggles with spending, reduce your balance limits to $1,000 and set them aside for emergency only, or close the accounts altogether.