How to Help a Friend With an Eating Disorder

If you notice that your friend, be it a male or female, is struggling with an eating disorder, you can help. Remember that you cannot change your friend, but you can encourage him or her to get help.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Try to be sensitive about this problem that your friend is dealing with. Do research on the Web or in books and magazines in order to become familiar with the signs, symptoms and possible causes of the eating disorder. Remember that there are several types of eating disorders, but the 2 most common are bulimia and anorexia nervosa.
2. Take note of the behavior that you think is strange, such as picking at one’s food or binging on a large amount of junk food at one sitting. If you need to write it down so you can remember it, do that. This will allow you to bring up the topic at a more sensible time, rather than pointing it out on the spot.
3. Sit down and talk to your friend. Take him or her out for coffee where you can be alone. Don’t accuse your friend, but be honest about your concern. Tell your friend that you care about him or her, and that you want to be there to help if she needs it. This would be a good time to mention the behavior that you found unusual, such as the binging or not eating. This will give your friend a reference point as to what to start thinking about. It will draw attention to her actions so she can start to identify that there is a problem that needs to be dealt with.
4. If she denies the problem or doesn’t want to discuss it, just let her know that you only want to help and be a good friend. If she does have an eating disorder, this might be the first step to her getting the help she needs. If she realizes that she can’t hide it any longer, it may cause her to face her secret fears and ask for help.
5. Act normal. Don’t let this somewhat awkward conversation change your friendship. At first, your friend may not be comfortable being around you because they know that you know about their “secret” disorder. This is an uncomfortable feeling for someone looking to hide any unusual behavior. Just be the friend you always were, and don’t give up on your friend. When she is ready to face it, you will be the first person she turns to.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not try to counsel your friend with the eating disorder. Rather, encourage him or her to seek professional help.