How to Use a Message Board for Child Abuse Survivors

Message boards for child abuse survivors can offer a child abuse survivor extra support as she focuses on healing from a painful past. These message boards serve as a support group but must never replace therapy. With the anonymity of the Internet, a child abuse survivor can find the courage to share her story. She can read stories of other abuse survivors and feel less alone. She can also get advice from people who have walked a similar path. Before you use a message board for child abuse survivors, you need to prepare for some of the differences from other message boards. Here is how to use a message board for child abuse survivors.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Read the safety guidelines. Because message boards for child abuse survivors are geared toward people who are in pain, safety guidelines are generally enforced for the safety of everyone who uses the site. Read over the safety guidelines before you post on the board, and always follow the rules. They are for everyone's protection.

2. Use trigger warnings. A trigger is anything that could cause another person to have a flashback. A trigger warning is placed in the title of the post as well as at the top of the message itself. The trigger warning should specify the type of trigger so that readers can make an informed decision about whether to read the content. Here are some examples of trigger warnings: **** profanity triggers ****, **** sexual abuse triggers ****, **** self-injury triggers ****.

3. Protect your privacy. Select an anonymous name to use on a message board for child abuse survivors. Because those boards are generally open to the public, an abuser or cyberstalker could read your message and, in a worst-case scenario, track you down. If you choose to reveal your email address, set up a separate email account at a free site like Google or Hotmail, and use anonymous information when setting up the site. For example, choose a name like "wanttoheal," and then open an email address like "[e-mail]."

4. Be careful about your tone. Less than 10 percent of what we communicate to other people is through our words. The rest is communicated through tone, facial expressions and body language. On a message board, all you have available is tone to add to the words, so be careful about how you write things to other members. Using emoticons--such as :0)--can be helpful in expressing your tone.

5. Prepare for occasional flare-ups. Because message boards for child abuse survivors have a membership of people who are in pain, members are more likely to have overreactions to comments that were not intended to cause issues. Also, if you feel as if you are being attacked, take a step back first to make sure that you are not missing the person's tone.

6. Use caution in reading other people's posts. Take trigger warnings seriously. If reading about self-injury might cause you to nose-dive emotionally, then do not read any posts with a self-injury trigger warning.

7. Encourage others. Everyone on a message board for abuse survivors is there because they are in the process of healing from abuse. While it is okay to lean on everyone else heavily in the beginning, be sure to give back to others as you continue to heal.

Tips & Warnings

• Some message boards for child abuse survivors prohibit including hyperlinks in posts. Because the moderators cannot guarantee that the hyperlink will lead to a safe place, hyperlinks are banned altogether. This is to prevent people from linking to pornography and other sites that might be very upsetting to a survivor of child abuse.

Resources

• Isurvive: Message Board for Child Abuse Survivors