How to Play Dumb

They say that the only reward for hard work is more work. Lets face it, sometimes we all want to avoid responsibility and just be lazy. The easiest why to do this is pretend we are not as smart as we really are. People will be loath to give you jobs to do and will be less mad at you if you make a mistake. There are some very simple tactics to pretending to not be all that bright. Read on to learn how to play dumb.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Keep you eyes wide at all times, alternating between a light sense of panic and a childlike happiness.
2. Drop at least one to two things a day. Papers, binders or flowers are good. Coffee or glass might not be.
3. Make an effort to walk into walls, doors and poles often. Do this lightly, so as not to hurt yourself.
4. When someone hands you anything that requires work--a paper, a box containing something, a three-hole punch--stare at it for a long time. Turn it over and over in your hands slowly. Finally, look back up at the person with confusion in your eyes. If you can make your lip quiver, so much the better.
5. Pick one specific thing and consistently get it wrong. For example: if your boss likes her coffee with cream and sugar, always bring it with black. Or always try to meet your friend at the wrong movie theater.
6. Never remember anyone's name correctly. Call Mat-Mark. Call Phoebe-Farla. Call Tasha-Tambor.
7. If someone asks you a question of any kind, tip your right ear to your right shoulder slowly and squint your eyes like you are really, really trying to understand. When they are done talking shrug your shoulders in response and immediately walk away whistling.

Tips & Warnings

• Always be friendly and pleasant. No one like a mean dumb person.
• Once you start the act, you can't drop it until you leave the job or the presence of the people in question.