How to Disguise Yourself as a Hipster (Male)

There are many reasons to disguise yourself as a male hipster. Perhaps you are a spy needing to infiltrate a secret hipster society. Perhaps you are just looking for a great Halloween costume. Perhaps, for whatever reason, you need to start a new life and completely change your identity. In any case, disguising yourself as a male hipster is as easy as walking into American Apparel.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Put on a pair of tight, straight jeans. The darker the better, but any color will do.

2. Put on a tight V-neck T-shirt or a tight T-shirt featuring a pop-culture reference from the 1980s, any color.

3. Layer on a short thin zippered jacket or blazer--blacks, blues or plaids only. Leave it unzippered.

4. Put on a pair of Converse all-star high top sneakers or Van slip-on shoes. Any pattern, any color.

5. Grow a beard. The more patchy and lumberjack looking, the better. Also acceptable is a '70s-style mustache.

6. If you hair is long, leave it down and un-combed. If chin length, brush it forward and give yourself a side part. If it's 5 inches or so, spike the top section up, or cover it with a striped winter hat, no matter what the season. If you are bald, just wear oversized headphones constantly.

7. Put an expression on your face somewhere between sourness and apathy.

8. Take the L-Train to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, light a parliament cigarette and fade into the crowd.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are trapped into a conversation and don't know what to say, just talk about "your band."
• Never, never refer to yourself as a hipster.

Resources

• American Apparel

[OOOObubblesOOO]

on 10/26/2008 If you plan to be a hipster for halloween: don't tell people you are a hipster, let them tell you you are a hipster.

[AbbyNormal]

on 10/10/2008 Cute!

[Cookie66]

on 8/16/2008 Funny! Cool advice.