How to Live With an Extrovert

Maybe you have a significant other, roommate or friend who is very outgoing and friendly but who also gets on your nerves and drains your energy. This is a common complaint of an introvert. Sometimes opposites attract, but they also may clash. Read on for insight into how to better live with an extrovert, or work with one, especially when you are the quiet one.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Recognize that extroverts often obtain much of their energy and fulfillment from outside of themselves. This is neither better nor worse than an introvert but is just the way that some people are wired.
2. Understand that the more an extrovert relies on several friends and acquaintances to be happy, the less valued you may feel as a result. As long as the extrovert is meeting their commitments to loved ones, then the problem is likely a matter of perspective rather than a conscious undertaking.
3. Be heard. Don't let the extrovert monopolizes most conversations. They might, especially as he/she grows accustomed to your silence. It rarely works to talk over the one-tracked talker, but persistently redirect conversations to your point of view. If necessary, announce an interruption, such as “Excuse me.”
4. Discuss with the extrovert the negative feelings that you may experience in their presence such as neglect. Whether it is divided attentions or a lack of interest is for you to decide. Note too that extroverts are often happy with many friends of varying acquaintance, whereas introverts often prefer a few close relationships.
5. Prepare the extrovert for serious discussions, inviting them to sit and telling them that “we need to talk.” This will alert the extrovert that the discussion needs more attention then is usually given. If the extrovert interrupts, ask them directly to please let you finish first.
6. Don't expect the extrovert to change their personality, nor should the same be asked of you. If conflicts become frequent, but not serious, it may just be time for an introverted break. Do what you need to recharge your batteries.

Tips & Warnings

• Explain to the extrovert that introverts derive their energy internally and often need quiet time to rejuvenate whereas an extrovert may prefer to go out. Find a balance that works for both parties.
• Levels of extroversion vary and many people have a relative balance of extroversion and introversion.
• If a person is disloyal or non-committed, don't expect compromise. This type of behavior is beyond mere personality differences.
• Extroversion or sociability should not be mistaken for self-confidence. Some people overcompensate and the person's behavior as a whole should be considered.