How to Bring Romance Back to Your Marriage

Choose conversation-friendly dates.

Every relationship needs attention to thrive. If you feel as though your marriage lacks the spark that it once had, changing your perspective can help immensely in reigniting it. Focus on the idea that your spouse is the most significant part of your marriage. When you act on this premise and make even small gestures to show that you care, you will be amazed at how much your marriage will improve and how much your spouse will reciprocate.

Things You'll Need

• A reliable babysitter
• One free weekend night
• Board games, like Twister or Scrabble
• Sticky notes

Instructions

1. Show regard for your spouse's experiences and occupation. Display concern when your spouse tells you about her day, even if her daily routine is not something that particularly interests you.

2. Call your spouse during the day just to tell him you miss him. Compliment him just to make him feel good.

3. Surprise your spouse with thoughtfulness. Cook what she likes to show her that you pay attention to her preferences. Bring home her favorite flowers or the candy she loves so that it will be obvious that you think of her during the day.

4. Dress up when you know you are going to see your spouse. Whether you are going to meet him somewhere or you simply expect him to come home at a certain time, be ready. This step can be as small as putting on a cleaner shirt, shaving or wearing a little makeup.

5. Arrange a weekly date night. Choose activities that you enjoyed together when you first met. Trips to museums, dinners out and walks on the beach are ideal because these atmospheres are conducive to conversation.

6. Turn off the phone. Set aside a certain amount of time -- perhaps an hour each evening -- when your phones, computers and televisions are off and you focus on each other instead.

7. Take a vacation together. Hire a babysitter if necessary and take a trip with just your spouse, even if you can only spare one night.

Tips & Warnings

• Hold hands when you go out together, even if you're at the grocery store.

• Call each other nice names, such as "sweetie" or "cutie." This small change is a powerful magnet for affection.

• Write little love notes to one another. If you make lunch for your love, leave a note in his lunch bag. Or, if you leave the house before she does, write a note and leave it on the refrigerator. Have the note say things like, "I'm thinking of you," "I will always love you," "You are one sexy person," or "I'm dreaming of kissing you right now!" You'll be sure to heat up the romance.

• Try as you might, maybe you just can't seem to find the time for a romantic "date" together. Don't worry about it. Just take the time when you can get it, and don't put any extra pressure on your relationship by worrying that you are not in an ideal situation. Try and focus on those small, daily rituals of stealing kisses and hugs here and there. These small gestures will make a big difference in your relationship.

• If you have a particularly bad day, try not to bring it home. Or, if you can't shake it off, just tell your love that you need some time by yourself, and try to work it out alone. If you still can't get rid of your bad mood, try talking to your partner about it. Chances are, you'll feel better that you did.

• If you are cross, and your love asks you what's the matter, don't reply with, "Nothing." He knows something is wrong, and by saying nothing is the matter, you're shutting him out. Just tell him that you don't want to talk about it right now, and then when you feel like talking, go to him and ask if he'll listen. In this way, he'll feel like you're being honest, and he'll better understand your mood.

References

• "Woman to Woman"; Rebbetzin Esther Greenberg; 1996
• "Aish.com"; Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Marriage: A Man's Guide; Emuna Braverman; February 2009
• "Aish.com"; Keeping the Spark Alive in Your Marriage: A Woman's Guide; Emuna Braverman; February 2009
• "The 7 Stages of Marriage: Laughter, Intimacy and Passion Today, Tomorrow, Forever "; Rita DeMaria, Ph.D., et al.; 2006

Resources

• Read this Article in Spanish
• Read this Article in Spanish