How to Deal With the Death of an Estranged Father

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By Rodney Southern
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Losing a parent is always a difficult thing, but when you are estranged from them at their death, it is especially difficult. There are some ways to deal with an estranged father's death and here they are from someone who has been there.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Step 1

The single most important factor in dealing with an estranged father's death is to forget the past. You simply cannot hold on to past hurts and move on to the future. The past cannot be undone and you deserve to move on.
Step 2

Try to search your memory for those good things about your father. Almost every estranged child remembers something good about the father they left behind. Find yours and reflect on it. Why was it so wonderful? Remember it as a cherished memory.
Step 3

If there are those in the family that are preventing you from healing, feel the freedom to release them. You need not feel obligated to anyone that wants to revel in the past hurts that are now gone. Let them go.
Step 4

Do not feel guilty as estrangement takes 2 sides. You and your estranged father had a part in the estrangement, and you should not bear the load for it alone. It is in the past, and now you are moving to the future.
Step 5

When the time is right, and you able to do so, forgive your father. We are all humans with flaws, and he had his. Now, for the sake of your healing, you have the power to forgive them and let it go. This will help you more than anything.

Comments

DreamLiving said

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on 7/22/2008 This is a great topic. Most children want to honor their parents, sometimes even when they had challenging lives as children. My father has been in my adult life more than he was when I was a child. It has been rewarding finding common ground between us to build a relationship. Great tips to pass on.

AmyBrantley said

on 5/15/2008 My father is still alive, but my parents divorced in 1992. I haven't seen my father since. He was supposed to see me every other weekend at supervised visits. He never came. I was 6 or 7 years old. It's heartbreaking and when faced with a chance to speak to him again last year, I chose not to. I may regret that one day, but I'll never forget the hurt I felt when he never showed up. Thank you for this article.