How to Apologize Sincerely

When you're a child, an apology consisted of a half-hearted "sorry" but as an adult you're expected to be sincere in your apology. In any relationship, whether romantic or platonic, no one wants to hear an insincere apology meant only to appease them. The key to a truly sincere apology is to mean it, and if you don't mean the apology you are better off not giving one.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Reflect on the words or actions that require an apology. When you really reflect on what you have said or done that may have offended someone you will have an idea if you need to apologize. It's important that you apologize if you feel as if you have done something wrong, if you feel your words or actions were justified then don't apologize.

2. Question your motives. Did you say or do something mean just to be mean? If so then you should apologize even if you don't feel as if you should. Being mean or inconsiderate "just because" is unacceptable and if you care about the relationship with this person, a sincere apology is warranted. If you insulted someone unintentionally and don't realize it, it is up to you to decide if an apology is necessary.

3. Think about if the situation was reversed. If you were in the situation of the other person, would you expect an apology? If the answer is yes, you should apologize. If however, you think the other person is being too sensitive don't apologize if you cannot be sincere.

4. Acknowledge that you were wrong. Simply saying "I'm sorry" isn't going to cut it now that you're an adult. You must take responsibility for what you did or said and accept that it was hurtful. You will be forgiven much quicker if you simply acknowledge your mistake and apologize for you.

5. Give the person you apologize to some space. By allowing them time to think about your apology you are letting them know that you understand that what you did was wrong and you won't bother them until they are ready to forgive you. Constant pestering is generally a sign that you aren't sincere and want a quick penance so you can forget about it. When they are ready to let you back in, they will.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't make the apology all about you, you were not the person hurt.
• Don't apologize until you mean it.
• Apologizing when you don't mean is insulting to the other person.

[jmoent]

on 4/23/2009 Not enough people take the time to apologize even when they feel they should. There would be a lot less confusion if they did. Keep in mind that everyone you apologize to is not always willing to be forgiving, but you should still do your part by sincerely acknowledging your mistake.