How to Apologize to a Friend

Have you had a recent argument with a friend?
A sincere apology can work wonders at healing the wounds of an argument and getting you back into the good graces of your friend.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Apologize to your friend in person. You want to deliver your apology in the most personal way possible so your friend can see your facial expression and understand your level of sincerity. Avoid apologizing by phone or email if at all possible.

2. The purpose of apologizing is not to win the argument, but to reestablish your friendship. Resist the urge to make any final justifications to support your side of the argument.

3. Take the time to listen to your friend after you deliver your apology. If your friend wants to discuss the issue further, listen without forming a judgment or escalating the argument further.

4. Make eye contact when you deliver your apology. Don't look down out the ground, cross your arms or give other signs of being defensive or insincere. Sincerity is important.

5. Be willing to accept the blame. Don't deliver a partial apology which will only come off as insincere. Acknowledge your role in the misunderstanding.

6. Have a plan for after you've delivered your apology. You might want to take your friend out for a cup of coffee so you can relax and renew your friendship.

7. If your friend doesn't accept your apology right away, give her some time. Don't rush her. Allow her time to come to terms with what you've said.

Tips & Warnings

• No argument is more important than friendship. Friends are truly life's greatest treasures.

[SurveillanceGuy]

on 2/9/2008 Sound advice!

[eyeopening]

on 1/12/2008 I'm so glad you're trying to renew your friendship. I hope everything works out for the two of you. All the best to you. :-)

[mst1]

on 1/12/2008 I enjoyed reading your article, I had/have a friend that I had not spoken to in over 13 years. Her daughter came over for Thanksgiving dinner in 2006 (I had seen her recently) and we talked. She came over again for a Christmas party and I collected all of the pictures taken over the years of her parents, brothers and herself and sent them to her. Several weeks later, I received an email expressing her regret of not keeping in touch, squash whatever the reason was and let's get together for her birthday (her's was first). I spent that weekend with her and had a great time. We have since spent 2 more weekends together including
Thanksgiving of 2006. Things aren't exactly like they used to be but we are working on it. Thanks.