How to Be Affectionate in Public with Your Gay or Lesbian Partner

Same-sex couples are often cautious about displaying affection.

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The public smiles sweetly upon husbands and wives who hold hands, embrace and even kiss in public. But the reception can be very different for gay and lesbian couples. It’s hard to do what comes naturally because society often frowns on any public displays of affection. The reality is that a simple kiss can inspire not only disapproval but possibly, violence.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

Willing partner
Ability to shake off disapproval
Instinct for knowing if the situation is dangerous

Step1

Know that most gay and lesbian couples feel they have to think twice before doing what comes naturally. Since birth, they’ve been taught and shown that affection between same-sex partners is “gross” or “disgusting.” It’s difficult to shake those lessons.

Step2

Realize that obeying society’s rules for keeping gay and lesbian affection at bay is actually taking care of other people’s discomfort. Is their comfort level more important than your integrity?

Step3

Understand that “privacy” is often a code word for “shame.” Heterosexual couples don’t have to hide their affection so why do same-sex couples have to be more “private?”

Step4

Consider how you would act with an opposite-sex date and make that your measuring stick. If you would snuggle up with your husband/wife in a corner restaurant booth, then you should be able to do the same with your partner.

Step5

Be patient with your partner if he or she is reluctant to hold hands or kiss in public. But after giving it some time, you may want to consider whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is unwilling to be seen with you as a couple.

Step6

Know when enough is enough. No one wants to see any couple--gay or straight--with their tongues down each others’ throats or tearing at each others’ clothing.

Tips & Warnings

When someone stares at you and your partner, just smile pleasantly. Chances are they’re just curious. Show them that you are comfortable with who you are.
If you are in an area where you know people are very homophobic, it’s best not to be openly affectionate.

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Comments

Jordannagyrl said

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on 6/7/2008 two unattractive women, or two gay men, display the same type of affection in publc, people become rude, disrespectful, and belligerent. Are we really such a shallow society where it is ok (and sometimes encouraged) for two attractive females to display affection in public, but its not ok for unattractive women (based on society's definition), and men (attractive or unattractive)to display the same forms of affection??

Jordannagyrl said

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on 6/7/2008 This is a very informative article and I just wanted to post a comment about the attitudes I have come across when my girlfriend and I are affectionate in public. My girlfriend and I are very attractive. (Not to be conceited, there is a point coming). I am 25, she is 22. I find that whenever we are affectionate in public (holding hands, or giving each other light kisses) the men (of all ages and races) will sit there and watch. Sometimes, men have even cheered. Most of them will ask if they can watch, take us out or even join (which I find as offensive as the derogatory remarks that we receive). Most women will just walk buy and glance, or if they have children with them, they will grab their hands and walk a little bit faster. Most of the derogatory comments we receive are from older Christian Caucasian, and African-American women. And it does not occur too often. I have found that when

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