How to Make Up With a Friend

If you’re on the outs with a friend, it’s often hard to be the one to make the first move toward reconciling. If you’re both stubborn, however, nothing will ever get resolved. Here’s how to make up with a friend.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Send out feelers via other friends. If you have mutual acquaintances, try to get them to find out if your friend is still upset with you. Is he or she open to being friends again? You may be afraid of being rejected, so if possible try to find out how the other person feels toward you.
2. Pick up the phone. Be the bigger person and make that phone call. It’s hard to be the one to say “I’m sorry” or “”I miss you”; but one of you has to do it. You may be catching the other person off guard. Be prepared for whatever reaction he or she has.
3. Write a note. If making a phone call is too hard for you to handle, write a note to your friend. If it’s near the holiday season, send a Christmas card saying how much you’ve missed this person this year.
4. Send an email. Email can seem impersonal, but it’s a great way to reconnect with an old friend. Make sure your email is worded very carefully, however, or it could be misconstrued. If you send an email to your friend’s workplace, keep in mind that his or her superiors may monitor the emails that come in.
5. Make plans to meet at a neutral place. If your friend is open to working things out, make plans to meet in person. Choose a neutral place, like a restaurant, so no one feels awkward or like they’re not on their own “turf.”
6. Apologize. Depending on what you’re falling out was over, you may have to say those two little words--“I’m sorry.” If you feel that you were not at fault, don’t hold your breath waiting for the other person to apologize just because you made the first move. You may have to work in baby steps. Be happy that you’re at least on speaking terms again and then you can work from there.
7. Forgive and forget. Make a vow that you will forgive this person and forget about the past. If you keep bringing up the past, or throwing past ills in your friend’s face, you’ll be back to square one again: not speaking. If you tell someone you accept their apology then you should accept it, move past it and get on with your friendship.