How to Survive A Spouse's Military Deployment

If your spouse is in the military and they are deploying, it can be a time of stress and trials, or it can be a time of personal growth and development for you, as well as enriching your marriage. Here are the steps to follow.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Honesty
• Inner strength
• Creatvity
• Committment

1. When your spouse deploys it can be very stressful, but it can also be a chance to grow into a stronger person and make your marriage stronger.
2. PUT FIDELITY FIRST-
   The first thing you must do is commit to your spouse and your marriage, and not put yourself in compromising situations. Even if you and your spouse normally go out to bars and clubs, when one of you is away, it can start rumors and lead to uncomfortable situations. It is best to steer clear of any situations that are questionable. Find other hobbies and interests that are less likely to cause problems.
3. BE CREATIVE-
   You may not be with your spouse for special occasions (such as birthdays, anniversaries and holidays), but a little creativity and a little planning can go a long way on making these times special. When my husband was deployed I made up a little note for each day he was gone (and yes, it was a LOT). It was just a little note of why I loved him, or a joke, or even a memory that we had shared - I put each one in an envelope and put the date that he was to open them on the front. It helped make each day special.
4. BE UNDERSTANDING-
   You spouse might call you and be in a grouchy mood - before you respond in a similar fashion, remember that it is probably 2am for him, he has stood in line 2 1/2 hours to get on the phone to call you, he is tired and lonely and has probably had a rough day - be understanding!
5. CHERISH THE SMALL THINGS-
   Things that may not seem like a big deal to you might be just the pick-me-up your spouse needs. Tell him how the dogs were sleeping side-by-side, or how cute it was when the baby said "me go bye, bye",and it will make his day.
6. BE INDEPENDANTE - SOMETIMES-
   It is important to be independent and learn to do things for yourself (especially things that your spouse usually does, like cutting the grass, or taking care of the animals), but make sure that your spouse still feels like you need him or her for things. Make it a point to tell them what you are looking forward to, "boy, I am sure looking forward to having you back to do the grilling - I am not as good at it as you are!" This will let your spouse know that you are holding on by yourself, but it will be nice to have him back.
7. DREAM TOGETHER-
   Even though you are apart, you can still dream together. Talk about what you want to do when your spouse is back; talk about where you want to go - dreaming together helps you see yourself together in the future, and that is what we all dream about!